Kingdom Of Heaven

Kingdom of Heaven
Reviewed By Ray Macula

Synopsis and Scimitars

Kingdom of Heaven takes place in a magical time where Christians Muslims and Jews can’t copasetic ally live together and are busy killing each other off for a few scraps of desert waste considered to be the Holy Land. Hey does this sound familiar to anybody else? Anyway, the Christian rulers of Europe occupy and control Jerusalem as well as a few other territories with in the nearby area, outside them however are the unified Muslim hoards, and they want Jerusalem themselves.
Now I should point out that the king of Jerusalem doesn’t bar anyone from worshipping in the city, for a reasonable tax, Christian, Muslim and Jew are all free to worship as well as live harmoniously with in the city walls. The hitch of course is that the king is dying, the next in line for the throne is a know-it-all Frenchman who wants to fight the Muslims, and all the while those darned Templars are out there causing havoc and destruction against an enemy who is himself spoiling for a war.
Enter Orlando Bloom, who gets stuck trying to defend the city out numbered and under armed after the French king leads the bulk of the army to the dismal failure only a Frenchy could bungle into.

Ratings and Riyadh

The movie is an epic starting off somewhere in Medieval Europe (sorry I was late getting into the theater) and rapidly progressing to the Middle East with ship wrecks, medieval sex, political scandals and blood shed galore. The main battles make up most of the middle to end of the movie, with lots of nasty little spurts hither and dither. In short it’s a sort of history lesson woven into about 2 ½ hours of people butchering each other. I’m giving it a 6 out of 6.