Browsing: Otterz & Endz

There is a term in communication theory known as phatic communication, coined by Roman Jakobson (and I only mention his name because it looks good in search engines). Basically this is any word or phrase meant to initiate communication or keep channels open. Less academically speaking, any pointless speech to get the ball rolling. Simply put: “i, how’s it going?” Phatic communication serves no real purpose other than to lead (or attempt to lead anyway) to more meaningful communications. Classically speaking, after the small chatter, such topics would invariably lead to the old job. However, it seems to me at…

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The official place for the memorial page is here now. -7/24/06 I just found out that my best friend is dead. I hadn’t heard anything from him in over a month. Normally that wouldn’t have seemed odd since he moved to the middle of Wyoming. However, lately he’d been on instant messenger talking a blue streak. When the messaging stopped, I got concerned. When I emailed him to see if he was ok and no response, I got worried. Tonight, though I don’t know why, I checked the obituaries. Life is odd like that. It was odd how we came…

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or Extended Tales of Poor Customer Service or or This is the Last One of These, I Swear On walking towards the store one Saturday morn I noticed, on the corner across from my store, a tattered man with equally tattered clothing. Besides him stood an eight foot tall picket sign. As the signs on this particular corner are usually of a “end of the world” or “work for food” nature, I didn’t pay it any read at first. Just before I crossed, however, I glanced at the sign. Sure enough, it was the end of the world… “OfficeMax Store…

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or Further Tales of Poor Customer Service or or Which is worse: The Deal Hunters or Deal Makers? The Deal Hunters: At work I wear tan pants, a navy blue shirt and a radio on my belt with a speaker welded to my ear. I carry around a large black plastic label gun and what amounts to a tricorder. I can be found quite often either by a register or sitting on the floor mid aisle, labeling various items with said gun. Ten other folk in the building wear and do the same. The tan and blue… not a fashion…

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…or How Logic Confounds the Common Consumer Some time ago I announced I was employed. And, for the past year, I have learned a new skill – holding my tongue. I had to hold my tongue about the buying public, and I had to hold my tongue about my corporate overlords. Well, a year to the day I was hired, I found out that my store is closing. So, my restraining bolt has come off and I have decided to no longer be a loyal droid for the “good” people at Office Max, makers of the inane Rubberband Man and…

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In the beginning, there was darkness. A mass void of unrealized potential. Then, with a flash and a flicker, a shining star came over the horizon (ok, so there was a void and a horizon, now shh); a star called Mass Media! Radio, TV and the printed word all promised to shine a light on our futures – guiding our way with knowledge of the world around us. Then advertising agents came screaming out of nowhere causing a nice little super-nova and bollocksing the whole shebang! Oh, but that nova was bright in its own sense – neon supermodels and…

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At last I am employed. Employed somewhere where I didn’t get the job defaulted to me because of kin. I am now… in retail. The commercial world. And in an office supply chain, capitalism is definitely the motto. I will, eventually, be working in the desktop publishing center where my skills can finally be realized and honed to their full potential. However, first I must train normally in all areas of the store. Day one – I trained on register… and learned the true meaning of karma. For years I carried little to no change. I could not be bothered…

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I was going to look back at the year we just left, but as I reviewed my notes I realized it would be too great of an ordeal… Let the past go I always say; that is, if the year happened to be 2004. It began with a boob and ended with a bang…. I don’t know if the tsunami was a symbolic year-in-review or an omen of the year to come. I hope the prior, but most news-casting psychics seem to believe that 2005 is going to be a lulu. They saw the tsunami coming, so I tend to…

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A few months ago down ol’ Miami way, the police had a series of incidents resulting in Taserings (stun gunning for all the police technology termed challenged). The first zap was against a lunatic wielding shards of broken glass. He held the police and the gathering crowd at bay with his improvised weaponry as well as cutting on himself (as most lunatics wielding shards of glass tend to do), coming close to his arteries. Both he and those in the vicinity were at risk. The second zap came a few days later against a fleeing female. She and a gang…

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The other day I rode around in search of a paper application. I went in and out of stores only to come up with handful of URL’s. For you see there is no more paper… it’s a virtual world. Apply Online, apply online, apply online. One store did have a sign saying, “Apply inside.” Turned out to be a computer terminal. A lot of places have Internet terminals to use for “application purposes” only. They’re usually in dark lit corners of the sales floor; ’cause people without jobs are distracting and frightening to consumers. Then I came upon 2 stores…

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