And yet, it’s been that long since I’ve been to that rhinestone oasis that is Las Vegas. ‘Twas the summer of ’93, and was the launching point of an unforgettable months long road trip with my dad. A road trip that spawned my love of jackalopes and disdain for the Wisconsin Dells. They know what they did.

Being 13 at the time, I obviously didn’t have an appreciation for the neon around me. I also didn’t have a blog and smart phone to send in constant updates and posts, committing my experiences to the electronic ether. Neither did anyone else at the time, come to think of it. Something else to not fathom in this day and age.

Oddly enough, the Vegas of the present, from what I can see of the cable travel logs, would appeal more to my 13 year old self. Luckily, I never much matured past fifteen.

Accompanying me on this trip is my long time attorney-comma-spiritual-adviser-slash-good-luck-charm – Dr. Toad. Many summers ago I liberated him from a Jersey shore skill crane, and since then he’s become a mascot on such gaming junkets – helping to win skee ball points and release captive brethren from vending machines.

How much aid he brings to this venture is up in the air. Lately the good doctor’s been saying he’s not been feeling like himself. He says he feels like a little stuffed mushroom man. I tell him of course he does, he IS a little stuffed mushroom man.

For some reason he never believes me when I remind him of his metaphysical state.

C’est la vie…

But the gaming will be only a small part of this trip. The main focus will be upon Photoshop World – the three to four day pixel manipulating madness. I chickened out last year, and the fall edition was in Orlando… which meant a lot of commuting : /

I have no idea what to expect. I mean, I’ve been using Photoshop for years. That’s no big deal It has only been in recent months that I’ve actually entered the fringes of the Photoshop community… forums, blogs and the like. But now I hurl myself into the heart of it. Should be interesting.

It’s really the first vacation I’ve gone solo on, so my stomach is full of butterflies who’re celebrating new years eve a bit early. But it’s more than a vacation. It’s more than learning a crap ton of Photoshop and connecting with people (theoretically) on my wavelength.

This is practice.

Journaling from a distance. Moblogging some call it. For the whole week I’ll be attempting to get my Tweet legs blog daily about this event. Get a feel for it, ’cause in a few years I hope to cover the the 2012 London Olympics for the New World Otter here. And, if I can’t do it here in my homeland… how can I expect to do it in a place that doesn’t speak American?

More to follow, now to try to get some zzz..ZZZ…zzz And when I get back, I really need to fix this place up… its in no shape for regular postings : p

Dear Mr. Eccentric

I can’t help but think there’s not enough coverage and/or outrage over the Deepwater Horizon disaster in the Gulf of Mexico. There seemed to be way more coverage and scandal with the Exon Valdez than with this rig. I don’t get it. I mean don’t get me wrong, the Valdez was horrendous; but that was a finite amount of oil working on one habitat… where this rig is spewing an infinite amount of oil into countless fragile wetland ecosystems and affecting all sorts of seafood related industries. We didn’t have the 24hr news cycle back then nor the greenmindedness we have now, and yet, there’s only been but a dull roar from the media and a prodded response from government. What gives?

We didn’t have a reliance on bottled water nor the affinity for gourmet cooking we do today either. Confused?

The beating around the bush reaction to this disaster is all due to a misunderstanding on the part of a low level cog in the Illuminati’s Foodie Division and his part to cover up his blunder. The IFD being the wing of the worldwide conspiracy that creates all the food trends that seem to come around for no good reason – like everyone and their mother putting out Buffalo chicken (yay) or suddenly serving everything with chipotle or arugala with a light aioli (meh).

When the news broke out that the rig had sunk, news analysts began their barely-enough-info-to-pass-2nd-grade reports on the type of toxins being leaked by the disaster. In this case the substance in question is a lightweight oil lovingly referred to as “sweet;” and, that in a matter of days, the wildlife would be marinating in this stuff.

This misguided Illuminati figured shrimp infused in sweet oil straight from the sea would be a great new foodie fad, and thus sent the signal to the governments to drag their feet. That is till he realized that oil from the ground and oil from pressed veggies were not at all equal. Something to do with a night of drinking and Biodiesel lectures got his wires crossed.

In order to save face, the lackey changed his story. He “determined” that this slick of petroleum would, yes, toxify any seafood it came in contact with, but with a beneficial effect.

As we know, bottled water is a billion dollar industry facing some scrutiny due possible chemical seepage from the bottles. Plastic bottles are made from, amongst other things, oil byproducts.

If enough petroleum based toxins are ingested at the casual dining level, humanity would have built up an immunity to these chemicals and ready to not only continue buying bottled water as a supplemental source of hydration, but as a primary source too… after the Illuminati turn of the potable water supply in ten years.

As appealing as a solution to the “Waterworks Quandry” was, after a month’s deliberation, the high level Masters decided that they would have to act beneficially in this case and finally loosened the reigns on government and business to fix the mess after all.

As for the party responsible in the first place, though we’ve never heard of him before, I’m doubly sure we never will in the future.

Here’s just a small smattering of what’s out there:

Pentel’s RSVP pens and holder:

Probably the most obvious attempt to get your mind into the three R’s (say it with me, “reduce, reuse and recycle”) they got pens in an industrial trash bin. Branded with the trademarked term Recyclology, the science of the aforementioned green mantra, the bin comes with 7 pens, most in colors you can actually use… and actually write decently! They’ve pledged their Recyclology products are made from 50% recycled material, save the ink and the inner workings.

It’s a good effort on the pens, but the bin itself, where good intended, leaves a bit to be desired. It is only 35% recycled material and painted take-me-to-your-landfill-green rather than the universally recognized BLUE recycle bins and bags. So, just buy the one and REUSE it.

Still, the bin is a good accessory for your generic hero action figure when he needs to take out brand name villains!

Now if Papermate made those bins I’d scoff less. They’ve got biodegradable writing utensils.

Papermate’s Biodegradables line.

Both pens and mechanical pencils are offered in this line – and they have become my ballpoint of choice… not necessarily for the green aspect, but because they feel good writing with (not a ballpoint fan am I). But enough of the pen bit, the plastics bit is the focus for this post.

The body is constructed of Mirel plastic, which is made from corn. Yes, corn. No, it doesn’t mean they taste the part when you chew on them; it means they’re compostable. Again though, the innards and rubber grip are not… so close! Soy ink maybe?

And I would totally back Mirel’s horse if their website wasn’t suffering from Apache and socket errors. Maybe it’s just offline for Earth Day?

Finally in this world-saving trifecta is the Terracycle company.

On last year’s Earth Day, the National Geograhic channel profiled this company in a show called “Garbage Moguls” and what they do is they come up with products that are produced with reused stuff.

For example, a teacher in my town has partnered with them (the TerraCycle Brigade) to collect Capri-Sun pouches and Doritos bags from her school’s lunch period. At least twice a week she comes in to my copy center with a couple of 10-20lb boxes full of these discards, all with prepaid UPS shipping. TWENTY pounds of flattened Capri-Sun pouches!

Terracyle takes these pouches, makes things with them like bookbags, sells said things, then gives the school a kickback for it.

Some of the green office products (you know, to keep with the original concept of this post) include the used circuit board clipboard, pencils made from old newspapers, and cork boards made from, get this, corks!

Saving the environment, saving our schools and living the capitalist dream all in one fell swoop – Terracyle gets this years NWOt Earth Day Leader Award that we just created this very sentence!

So, I’m thinking that she was the only one “insisting” that this commercial was about her. The rest of us – who, up until now, had finally neatly stowed the antics of Ms. Lohan away in a footlocker in the corner of the collective consciousness (the dark one with the burned out reading lamp) – just enjoyed a funny commercial.

Alas, no one chained the box and she’s out making a fuss again. This time she’s just being litigious in nature rather than the normal lascivious. Evolution in action.

For those of you not in the know by now – E-Trade is an online brokerage whose commercials star a fiscally savvy baby who lives it up thanks to power trading of stocks and bonds. No small feat for a professional in this economy, let alone an infant. Anyway, here’s the commercial in question:

Now I fail to see any resemblance here. I mean the punchline is merely a baby with an apparent drinking prob… point taken madam.

But my beef isn’t so much with the lawsuit as the grounds for it. Again from the NY Post:
“Lohan’s lawyer, Stephanie Ovadia, said the actress has the same single-name recognition as Oprah or Madonna. ‘Many celebrities are known by one name only, and E-Trade is using that knowledge to profit,’ Ovadia said.”

First of all, if you’re gonna go all mononym on the world, pick something better than “Lindsay.” It’s not all that distinctive – in 1986, the year Ms. Lohan was born, Lindsay was 46th in popularity (SSA.gov). Plus, I’m pretty sure 72% of America has had a bad experience with someone name Lindsay, though I’m still working on those statistics.

Secondly, comparing yourself to Oprah or Madonna? Really? They scored an Oscar and a Grammy respectively… where’s yours, Ms. Lovebug-remake?

Where does it stop? If slight innuendo experienced by one person can be the basis of a frivolous lawsuit, could this other E-trade ad be next?

Captain Sullenberger, you’re retiring, why not sue on the off chance they’re implying you fathered a rhythmically challenged kid?

In unrelated news… TMZ reports Corey Haim died today of what preliminary reports are deeming an overdose. Fans of the Canadian actor were shocked by the news. Not so much shocked that he died, but that he’d been alive all this time… OK, that’s in bad taste I know, I’m sorry, but I had to get it in before the late night comics!

“Here we have one big ass tentacle. Add a touch of eerie goodness to your home decor.
Bursting through a wall of faux bricks, this fabulous bit of cephalopod is sure to delight young and old alike.” -Says the artist – Etsy username ArtAkimbo

And really, what little girl wouldn’t want the carbuncle of Cthulu jutting out from over her bed? Or, older girl, under her bed… The look on a little boys face when he opens that box Christmas morn and flashes back to the run in with the squid at the beach line a few months prior….

“I’ve included a couple of photos of how it might look in your gracious home, specifically if you happen to live in the American wing of the Metropolitan Museum of Art.” – ArtAkimbo goes on to say.

Snide comments aside, it’s a rather nifty looking art piece. Not my cup of tea, but I’m sure it’d fit in some seaside villa or cultists livingroom.

The tentacle is made of foam and fiberglass, and juts out about 44” from the wall. The piece weighs in at 25lbs , though I don’t know how much weight it can hold – meaning you may not be able to use it as a coat hook a la the Adams Family. Come on, you know you thought of it too.

It’s one of a kind and sells for $1,200, though if Spencer Gifts had any brains (muffled comment) they’d license this bad boy.

Akimbo has some other unique (and affordable) Surreal and Dadaist pieces and prints in his shop. Definitively worth a look see.

They also got Looney Tunes and Tom and Jerry! They’ve been edited for political correctness’ sake, but its something. So if you got kids, here’s something for them to watch rather than totally sterile rehashed gags of cartoons that are being made today. If you don’t got kids, who cares… its something to watch rather than the totally sterile rehashed gags of sitcoms that are being made today.

In an unrelated note, Nickelodeon still appears to not be acknolweding their existance prior to 1999. Come on guys, Classic Nick Network on 3! 1… 2…

PS, don’t go to the CN website… there’re pedophiles in the comments : 0 And no trace of a channel line-up.

British foul keeper known as TheDuckman666 has developed a fully auto-loading/firing crossbow – an invention prompted by his increasing arthritis -and can be seen in this video:

A motorized variation of the Chinese lever-action repeating crossbow of the 2nd century, it holds 15 bolts in its internal magazine and gets a shot off every 2 seconds or so. Far and away from any Thompson gun, its still a dangerous and effective gadget. I mean, should a disgruntled Medieval Times worker get the notion, they could go on a rampage and still stay in character. NOT advocating, just saying.

I do fear for those ducks in the background though. Friendly fire isn’t limited to M-16s.

And think of the various subcultures of nerds who’ll rejoice that such a thing is possible! Man, slap some copper plating and superfluous gears on that thing and it just screams STEAMPUNK!

For the accuracy minded, there is a semi-automatic version too which just loads the bolt into place ready for the shooter to take aim. No scopes or laser sights, however.

Another Brit’s got that bit covered… Following the recommended vids we come to preyingforburglars‘ channel. He’s tacticalized a popular crossbow pistol with a 11 shot magazine and break “barrel” loading:

This is great for thatched hut village fighting, and is just the thing the Grand Duchy of Fenwick needs should they attempt another invasion. Still, given some R&D grants, the manual cocking would be more discreet than the whirring motors of the previous model.

Either case, it’s good to know that when Armageddon comes and black powder is scarce we’ll still be able to defend our compounds with somewhat-rapid-fire.

Thanks to [Neatorama] for the lead.