What can you say about a movie that has a new born baby beating the crap out of a fully grown man within it’s first 10 minutes? Not enough, I say. Recently, I came across thins little gem of weird cinema at the local Blockbuster; it was one of those previously viewed jobs for $10. Needless to say, I remembered it as being the only movie trailer with a man being womped on by a cow, but more about the eternal man/bovine conflict later.
With a budget that must have been as high as $60.00 (including catering) and a cast of a couple, Steve Oedekerk dared to take the kung-fu film where it’s never been before, on an acid trip…with a possible P.C.P. chaser. How’d he do it and still keep with the budget? Very simple, he got a hold of an old martial arts film, knocked out all the dialogue and inserted his own (yes trivia fans, very similar to Woody Allen’s “What’s Up Tiger Lilly?”), blue screened himself and a few other actors into the footage, and finally shot all new scenes, e.g., the karate cow.
It sounds kind of hackish, but comes out quite funny and psychotic at the same time. Anyhow, the plot is simple, although not really… anyhow, Oedekerk is “The Chosen One” the only person who can stand up to and defeat Betty, the evil Master Pain. Betty is the servant of the Evil Council, a group of French aliens that fly around in pyramids and are based out of Paris, with plans for global conquest. Oedekerk must train hard, win over a girlfriend, and heed the advice of the mysterious Wo (a one boobed martial arts type girl), and some lion spirit kind of guy similar to the one from “The Lion King.”
The movie certainly delivers all it promises and even has something for fans of “old school” rap from the 80s and early 90s. Betty plays a couple of classic raps while he beats the crap out of people. Yes, for the deeply disturbing, exceedingly odd, movie lover in you, there’s nothing that I’ve seen that quite fits the bill as “Kung Pow! Enter the Fist.” Therefore, on a scale of 1 – 6 ( 1 meaning that it should be stored underneath Utah because of its vile toxicity, and 6 meaning you should kneel down and that which ever god, or lower deity you worship for such inspired nectar) I shall give it:
6 Mushroom Clouds and any 6 Disturbing Mutations brought on by the radioactive catastrophe of your choosing.
It's ten-fricken-dollars, just buy the damn tape. If you don't like it, give it away as a gag gift.