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Arnold Stench’s Amateur Music Hour

According to the current issue of Rolling Stone (don’t ask why I got it, it just came in the mail for some reason) the worlds of quote-unquote music and quote-unquote reality television are about to collide in what can only result in an earth shattering raspberry. As if one couldn’t guess, UPN and MTV of course spearhead the movement.

UPN spews forth it’s urban feel with Missy Elliot doing her version of American Idol where the winner will get a recording contract and $100,000, thus thrusting upon society yet another semi-rich mook who’ll re-appear sometime in 2024 on the washed-up celebrity game show circuit. Speaking of which, Busta Rhymes and Madonna will be coaching the starlets in all the various techniques of Mangled-tune-foo and Kaba-blech (respectively).

Meanwhile, MTV will be regurgitating onto the viewing masses Nick Lachey; thankfully he will be sans-bimbo… well, probably not. His gimmick this time – “build a studio in his garage from scratch – and while he’s at it record a successful solo album.” A difficult task indeed, what with only his millions at his disposal. Though I must say, he might have a chance at the record bit… a half working studio can only improve his sound quality.

But as if reality TV couldn’t get more tasteless we get CBS’ s “Rock Star” and UPN’s “R U the Girl with T-Boz and Chilli,” both ghoulishly searching out replacements for deceased band members – the first for INXS’s Michael Hutchence who committed suicide; the other for TLC’s Lisa Lopes who died in a plane crash. There’s nothing wrong with searching for new band mates, but come on! Doing it on national television only reeks of exploitation. Way to show friendship and “sista’hood.” I hope a curse falls on both bands (which sucks cause INXS was still cool).

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