What Stays In Vegas Has Got To Get There First

Seventeen years is an unfathomable amount of time to be fathoming, especially when there’s undies to be packed. It’s enough time to be born and go college picking. It’s enough time to age a really fancy cheese. It’s enough time to get to Mars and back and run around the talk show circuit.

And yet, it’s been that long since I’ve been to that rhinestone oasis that is Las Vegas. ‘Twas the summer of ’93, and was the launching point of an unforgettable months long road trip with my dad. A road trip that spawned my love of jackalopes and disdain for the Wisconsin Dells. They know what they did.

Being 13 at the time, I obviously didn’t have an appreciation for the neon around me. I also didn’t have a blog and smart phone to send in constant updates and posts, committing my experiences to the electronic ether. Neither did anyone else at the time, come to think of it. Something else to not fathom in this day and age.

Oddly enough, the Vegas of the present, from what I can see of the cable travel logs, would appeal more to my 13 year old self. Luckily, I never much matured past fifteen.

Accompanying me on this trip is my long time attorney-comma-spiritual-adviser-slash-good-luck-charm – Dr. Toad. Many summers ago I liberated him from a Jersey shore skill crane, and since then he’s become a mascot on such gaming junkets – helping to win skee ball points and release captive brethren from vending machines.

How much aid he brings to this venture is up in the air. Lately the good doctor’s been saying he’s not been feeling like himself. He says he feels like a little stuffed mushroom man. I tell him of course he does, he IS a little stuffed mushroom man.

For some reason he never believes me when I remind him of his metaphysical state.

C’est la vie…

But the gaming will be only a small part of this trip. The main focus will be upon Photoshop World – the three to four day pixel manipulating madness. I chickened out last year, and the fall edition was in Orlando… which meant a lot of commuting : /

I have no idea what to expect. I mean, I’ve been using Photoshop for years. That’s no big deal It has only been in recent months that I’ve actually entered the fringes of the Photoshop community… forums, blogs and the like. But now I hurl myself into the heart of it. Should be interesting.

It’s really the first vacation I’ve gone solo on, so my stomach is full of butterflies who’re celebrating new years eve a bit early. But it’s more than a vacation. It’s more than learning a crap ton of Photoshop and connecting with people (theoretically) on my wavelength.

This is practice.

Journaling from a distance. Moblogging some call it. For the whole week I’ll be attempting to get my Tweet legs blog daily about this event. Get a feel for it, ’cause in a few years I hope to cover the the 2012 London Olympics for the New World Otter here. And, if I can’t do it here in my homeland… how can I expect to do it in a place that doesn’t speak American?

More to follow, now to try to get some zzz..ZZZ…zzz And when I get back, I really need to fix this place up… its in no shape for regular postings : p

The Green Office

Well, we all know that C.E.O.s want more greenery in their office, whether it be the almighty dollar or just a nifty little putting space in corner. But, in honor of Earth Day, let’s talk about non-decadent green – environmentally correct office products!

Here’s just a small smattering of what’s out there Read more

Windows 7 – The Aftermath

There are a lot of senior citizens in my area. This is, after all, Florida. And contrary to popular belief, not all of them are technologically challenged. One of my neighbors was a lead programmer on the DARPA net project after his days doing communications on a nuclear sub. So they can know their stuff. But, a majority don’t.

One such case still baffles me. It was the morning of the launch and an older gentleman (in his 80′s) was eagerly waiting at the door. First in line; a queue of one. That was a bit disappointing since 5 guys had worked 11hrs overnight, getting the place looking like the Microsoft equivalent of a Mac store. Read more

I Must Be Crazy – Windows7 Edition

So a month and a half ago I bought a brand new computer because nothing was wrong with my previous one. Not a thing. Ergo, it had to go. It was XP and reliable, and I needed Vista, so I too could share in the woes and gripes of the customers that came in the store. I like to try to empathize, even though my senses of apathy and contempt have way surpassed my conventional 5 senses.
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A Crappy Post

Today I am a plumber.

But not just any plumber… I am a vigilante plumber. The Phantom Plunger. I didn’t choose this life of clearing errant drains, it was thrust upon me out of desperation – for, no matter where I go there seems to be a jammed potty. A jammed potty that needs JUSTICE… or a good snaking. Read more

Yeah, Don’t Quit Your Night Job…

My place of employment is in a unique position in this spiraling economy… we are desperate for new hires! I am not at liberty to mention where I work nor the geographic local it’s in. Suffice it to say if you come across a sun bleached, weather beaten, semi-laminated sign saying “We’re Hiring”, chances are you’ve found it.

Goodness knows its not for lack of warm bodies beating down our door. We average about seven applicants a day, and print out about 50 applications a week. So far, however, the warm body bit has been the only qualification these dregs have met (and some I doubt have that much going for them). Read more

Reavealing Rokuzen

Some of you (none of you) have been wondering, “Ryan, where’s the name ‘Rokuzen’ come from?” Well, in the spirit of filling space, here’s the scoop:

In 1998, my first year in college, I was the proverbial noob when it came to the Internet(s). Thought it only being about two years old in mainstream years, I really hadn’t missed all that much. It would take me an additional three months to realize there were computers in my dorm’s basement that were available for student use. Not too swift on the uptake me.

When I began making friends they began asking me what was my email? Screen name? Aim? Concepts I had no clue about. The closest to these was my Mechwarrior call sign on an un-networked computer in another state. It wasn’t till a nerdly-wise pal came to my aid… mainly because she was tired of tracking me down the old fashioned analog way (read: foot). Thanks Laura!

Screen name…. identity for the internets… but what?
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Grate (sic) Moments In Racism

July 11th, Dalas Texas… all was going as smooth as could be (read: not very) during a county commissioners meeting until the Santa Ana winds brought in a stiff breeze of stupidity.

During the meeting the conditions of the growing bureaucracy were compared to a black hole. That’s when the breeze blew clear through the ears of Commissioner John Wiley Price and out his mouth who exclaimed it was more like a “white hole” and demanded an immediate apology for the metaphor. Some judge decided to chime in too. Both Price and the judge are black. (news source)
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Viacom to Milk Youtube

It was reported today by various news outfits that Viacom will be suing Youtube for the tune of ONE BILLION DOLLARS (keep that number in your head for a moment) for copyright violations and that type of stuff.

Viacom is complaining that the site is using material from such hits as the Daily Show, South Park, Spongebob, David Letteman, etc etc, without permission.

They are complaining now… This instant… Only recently…
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A Positive Job-Themed Post For A Change

It’s been about a year since my former place of employment closed it’s doors. And for that same amount of time there’s been a butt load of square feet sitting empty with black mesh tarps covering the windows and iron gated doors. And for as long as those covering entryways the mall that once contained and Office Max slowly withers… or so I am told and indirectly blamed for by anyone still owning storefront property within Melbourne Square. There’s been flutters of rumors of conjectures about new tenants to fill the void; but as I was constantly reminded on my quest for a new job – which took me past the old shope often – that ain’t happening. One can dream that a Wizards of the Coast would move in, but best not to get one’s hopes up.

I’ll still be passing the former Omax (probably more frequently now) as I am once again gainfully employed. Hooray! In the mall. Hooray! Selling men’s wear. Hooray?

The name of the store shall remain classified until such time as they see fit to screw me over – an inevitability in these times. However for the time being I can see this as a positive. Another component to add to my system – for yes it’s different from office junk and way off from graphic design, but should I thrive it’ll prove I can peddle most anything.

Secondly, I shall finally gain fashion sense. I’ve had the same pairs of jeans for something like 7 years; shirts, some range past 10 years, most monochromatic pocket tees. Couple them with a 12 year old fleece pullover and you’ve got me. I was in a Salaryman suit during the interview thus not letting them in on my style challenged alter ego.

Thirdly, it’s the bottom line – $$$. Well, $… But one cannot shift paradigms without the green fulcrum. (translation: cash to fund the NWOt and have it do more than just take up virtual space)

And lastly, this will invariably give me more tales and observations from Retail World to stretch and distort and fill more virtual space. Like:

As I was coming home from a victorious interview I decided to take a lap around the store – just to see what i was up against – as I’ve never actually shopped there because it’s unsightly expensive (should make my hundred dollar a day quota easily).

As I past housewares I got to the designer sheets. I know they existed but never really thought about them much. But really, why designer sheets? Who are you going to impress with a Tommy Hilfiger pillow case? If the person you mean to impress sees the label, chances are they’re already where you want them to be!

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