Windows 7 – The Aftermath

There are a lot of senior citizens in my area. This is, after all, Florida. And contrary to popular belief, not all of them are technologically challenged. One of my neighbors was a lead programmer on the DARPA net project after his days doing communications on a nuclear sub. So they can know their stuff. But, a majority don’t.

One such case still baffles me. It was the morning of the launch and an older gentleman (in his 80’s) was eagerly waiting at the door. First in line; a queue of one. That was a bit disappointing since 5 guys had worked 11hrs overnight, getting the place looking like the Microsoft equivalent of a Mac store. Read more

I Must Be Crazy – Windows7 Edition

So a month and a half ago I bought a brand new computer because nothing was wrong with my previous one. Not a thing. Ergo, it had to go. It was XP and reliable, and I needed Vista, so I too could share in the woes and gripes of the customers that came in the store. I like to try to empathize, even though my senses of apathy and contempt have way surpassed my conventional 5 senses.
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A Crappy Post

Today I am a plumber.

But not just any plumber… I am a vigilante plumber. The Phantom Plunger. I didn’t choose this life of clearing errant drains, it was thrust upon me out of desperation – for, no matter where I go there seems to be a jammed potty. A jammed potty that needs JUSTICE… or a good snaking. Read more

Yeah, Don’t Quit Your Night Job…

My place of employment is in a unique position in this spiraling economy… we are desperate for new hires! I am not at liberty to mention where I work nor the geographic local it’s in. Suffice it to say if you come across a sun bleached, weather beaten, semi-laminated sign saying “We’re Hiring”, chances are you’ve found it.

Goodness knows its not for lack of warm bodies beating down our door. We average about seven applicants a day, and print out about 50 applications a week. So far, however, the warm body bit has been the only qualification these dregs have met (and some I doubt have that much going for them). Read more

Reavealing Rokuzen

Some of you (none of you) have been wondering, “Ryan, where’s the name ‘Rokuzen’ come from?” Well, in the spirit of filling space, here’s the scoop:

In 1998, my first year in college, I was the proverbial noob when it came to the Internet(s). Thought it only being about two years old in mainstream years, I really hadn’t missed all that much. It would take me an additional three months to realize there were computers in my dorm’s basement that were available for student use. Not too swift on the uptake me.

When I began making friends they began asking me what was my email? Screen name? Aim? Concepts I had no clue about. The closest to these was my Mechwarrior call sign on an un-networked computer in another state. It wasn’t till a nerdly-wise pal came to my aid… mainly because she was tired of tracking me down the old fashioned analog way (read: foot). Thanks Laura!

Screen name…. identity for the internets… but what?
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Grate (sic) Moments In Racism

July 11th, Dalas Texas… all was going as smooth as could be (read: not very) during a county commissioners meeting until the Santa Ana winds brought in a stiff breeze of stupidity.

During the meeting the conditions of the growing bureaucracy were compared to a black hole. That’s when the breeze blew clear through the ears of Commissioner John Wiley Price and out his mouth who exclaimed it was more like a “white hole” and demanded an immediate apology for the metaphor. Some judge decided to chime in too. Both Price and the judge are black. (news source)
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Viacom to Milk Youtube

It was reported today by various news outfits that Viacom will be suing Youtube for the tune of ONE BILLION DOLLARS (keep that number in your head for a moment) for copyright violations and that type of stuff.

Viacom is complaining that the site is using material from such hits as the Daily Show, South Park, Spongebob, David Letteman, etc etc, without permission.

They are complaining now… This instant… Only recently…
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A Positive Job-Themed Post For A Change

It’s been about a year since my former place of employment closed it’s doors. And for that same amount of time there’s been a butt load of square feet sitting empty with black mesh tarps covering the windows and iron gated doors. And for as long as those covering entryways the mall that once contained and Office Max slowly withers… or so I am told and indirectly blamed for by anyone still owning storefront property within Melbourne Square. There’s been flutters of rumors of conjectures about new tenants to fill the void; but as I was constantly reminded on my quest for a new job – which took me past the old shope often – that ain’t happening. One can dream that a Wizards of the Coast would move in, but best not to get one’s hopes up.

I’ll still be passing the former Omax (probably more frequently now) as I am once again gainfully employed. Hooray! In the mall. Hooray! Selling men’s wear. Hooray?

The name of the store shall remain classified until such time as they see fit to screw me over – an inevitability in these times. However for the time being I can see this as a positive. Another component to add to my system – for yes it’s different from office junk and way off from graphic design, but should I thrive it’ll prove I can peddle most anything.

Secondly, I shall finally gain fashion sense. I’ve had the same pairs of jeans for something like 7 years; shirts, some range past 10 years, most monochromatic pocket tees. Couple them with a 12 year old fleece pullover and you’ve got me. I was in a Salaryman suit during the interview thus not letting them in on my style challenged alter ego.

Thirdly, it’s the bottom line – $$$. Well, $… But one cannot shift paradigms without the green fulcrum. (translation: cash to fund the NWOt and have it do more than just take up virtual space)

And lastly, this will invariably give me more tales and observations from Retail World to stretch and distort and fill more virtual space. Like:

As I was coming home from a victorious interview I decided to take a lap around the store – just to see what i was up against – as I’ve never actually shopped there because it’s unsightly expensive (should make my hundred dollar a day quota easily).

As I past housewares I got to the designer sheets. I know they existed but never really thought about them much. But really, why designer sheets? Who are you going to impress with a Tommy Hilfiger pillow case? If the person you mean to impress sees the label, chances are they’re already where you want them to be!

Too Much Information!! (sometimes)

One of the disadvantages of unemployment is running out of DVDs and VHSs to peruse… with an added reluctance to get new ones because it’d look like you’ve got your priorities mixed up. So the day-time TV has got me it it’s clutches.

Luckily with the whole digital everything revolution thing, we’ve now got the “Programming Grid” to speed through rather than ripping off the proverbial knob. If you’ve not got this feature yet, its basically an on screen box that lets you watch one piece of shoe while reading descriptions about other shows that won’t interest you either.

As I scrolled past the lately unreliable Cartoon Network, I found what could be the ultimate waste of words ever scribed:

“Cat Tom and mouse Jerry try to outwit each other.”

…?

…!

“Puss Gets the Boot”, the first Tom and Jerry cartoon, premiered February 10th 1940. The only way “Cat Tom and mouse Jerry try to outwit each other” would ever be required is if someone who went comatose February 9th 1940 suddenly woke-up… and if that’s the case, explaining what is TV rather than what’s on TV may be more prudent. EVERYBODY KNOWS WHAT TOM AND JERRY IS ABOUT! There’s no need to put it in writing!

Especially is it takes time away from other descriptions. For as over informational as the programming grid can be, it drops the ball just as stupidly. Like on movies with long titles; titles such as “It’s a Mad Mad Mad Mad…”

It’s a Mad Mad Mad Mad… what?! Turnip? Mamajama? Mad Mad Mad Mad Mad? Don’t leave me in suspense!

Of course I know it’s “World.” If I didn’t I’d have to give up my funny bone license. But it gets better – the description read “Couples search for treasure.” That’s a reality show, isn’t it? And it failed to mention any cast… THE CAST IS THE POINT OF THE MOVIE GODDAMNIT, HOW CAN YOU NOT LIST ANY CAST?! Sid Caesar, Micky Rooney, Milton Berle, Phil Silvers, Spencer Tracy, and over 70 other classic comedians and stars and you guys couldn’t even mention one?!

Yet they feel the need to spell out Tom and Jerry. Looks like I’m not the only one with mixed up priorities… I think I’ll go buy some DVDs.

I'm Mildly Insightful... What Do You Do?

There is a term in communication theory known as phatic communication, coined by Roman Jakobson (and I only mention his name because it looks good in search engines).

Basically this is any word or phrase meant to initiate communication or keep channels open. Less academically speaking, any pointless speech to get the ball rolling. Simply put: “Hi, how’s it going?”

Phatic communication serves no real purpose other than to lead (or attempt to lead anyway) to more meaningful communications.

Classically speaking, after the small chatter, such topics would invariably lead to the old job. However, it seems to me at least, that more and more conversations begin with not “how’s it going?” but rather straight to the kill and “what do you do?” I attest it to the America’s hang up on employment – pride in having it, working vacations, and 24/7 reachability.

But due to this trend, the art of conversation is dying off. Instead of the phatic “Hello” and starting slow, we now have entire pointless conversations before any real conversation is to be had; which tends to lead to an awkward thud in the chatter after both sides have spoken their piece – much like after the dueling “Hi, how are ya?”s.

I mean, unless one participants job is an illegal Turkish ivory deal whose everyday is fraught with peril… not much gets elaborated on, and each party moves on to the next lawyer or accountant and repeat the dance.

We really need to cease the need to find out what the next person does for a living. How about starting things off by asking “So, what are you into?” Or the classic, “Read any good books lately?” Sure they’re lame, old fashioned ice-breakers, but they worked. Sure, I could be an accountant for a living, but that doesn’t necessarily mean I’m into it.

Many good plug of the NWOt was lost and many a good debate on the merits of M Theory didnt happen due to the resounding collapse after my, “I’m unemployed at the moment.” I might was well, put up orange cones and have a British bobby disperse the crowd… “Nothin’ to see ‘ere… Unemployed, no redeeming social value…”

Had Orville and Wilbur Wright not been cousins and just met one day at a party, do you really think we would have gotten an airplane out of “So what do you do? I build bikes. Really? Me too… how funny is that?! … Well, see ya.”

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