What I do know is doodads… and along with the enhanced stability, W7 promised great things. SO, did it deliver? I’m only going over a few things (my key neats and not so’s) since the list seems to grow every time I click something.

Let’s begin at Start! I’ve always been a fan of the classic 95/98 look – a drab gray start-bar and simple file tree/programs list. When I got XP, the first thing I did was to style it like 98. The same with Vista. W7 on the other hand, not so much.

While you can go classic with W7, it doesn’t turn out too well. The start bar gets clunky, with the Start! and taskbar buttons looking out of place. Classic mode also prevents you from utilizing some of the new features like Snap and Shake. More on those in minute.

The quick-launch bar is gone by default, though you can “pin” programs to the taskbar. But rather than being folded nicely into a fly-out, they all sit out there in the open – looking at you sadly waiting to be used. There is, however, a work around to get the classic quick-launch bar up and running. I’ve not found a way to enable the classic Start! bar though.

Related to all that, the Show Desktop button up and moved across the screen. For fourteen years now we’ve been building a reflex reaction to mouse down to the left, be you teen or cubicle-worker. This could become awkward. In addition to moving, it’s evolved slightly. If you hover over the Show Desktop button, it makes all open windows transparent, aka “Peek.” Semi-useful to those goldbricking. But really, unless you suddenly need to check the ambient temperature of Antarctica from some desktop widget, then meh!

Snap:
One of the more useful new features, its a boon to multitasking, providing you can get into the habit of using it. What this does is allow you to, well, snap an open window to either side of the screen. So now you can have side by side open windows automatically without trying to jockey window frames and sliders. This even works with windows within programs, like open Photoshop documents!

Though when it comes to doing this with multiple monitors (where this Snap thing could really get handy) its not so obvious. Merely moving a window to the side will drag it to the next monitor as usual. Just hit the WIN button and the arrow keys and that will move things around just nicely.

Shake:
If you shake an open window with your mouse, all others will minimize. Do it again, they all pop up.
Meh!

Snip:
Open your Start! button and search for this, then pin it somewhere. This is Print Screen on steroids! You can take a regular screen capture; you can capture an open window; you can draw a box around something and just capture that – all with the ability of annotating it and saving it without pasting into paintbucket or the like! Think clipping articles out of newspapers but digital. Very cool.

Calculator:
Yes, I am touting the humble calculator. Aside from the scientific boost it got in XP, it now was with 7 a full complement of unit conversions, mortgage calculators, Statistics and Programmers calculators.

Live Taskbar Preview:
If you mouse over a minimized taskbar button a thumbnail of it pops up showing you what it looks like in real time. Very handy if you’ve forgotten which window is work and which… “isn’t.” Media players seem to get basic controls in their previews.

Internet TV
“Watch TV shows for free when and where you want with Internet TV on Windows Media Center. “

This was both the biggest draw for me and the biggest letdown. Here I was thinking it would be a list of major networks, minor cable stations and some international ones thrown in available on my computer – hopefully free, but if not, I’d pay a subscription for international stations. But no. Not even close. It bits and pieces of CBS, NBC, MSNBC, PBS, some podcasters and a selection Netflix movies.

The television side of it is like the afterbirth of Hulu – it’s got some of the same genetic material but not near enough to make a clone. I mean why do we need this? I need to be connected to broadband to access the Windows Media Center, so why use this at all when I’ve got websites that do the same thing with more content! At least I can Snap my web browser and do stuff while I watch old Perry Masons, rather than having the Media Center take up the whole danged screen!

And the Netflix portion – I have to be a Netflix member to access that. If I’m already a Netflix member, I’m gonna watch what I want, not the eight or so titles WMC highlights a month! What a waste of ones and zeroes people! I liked my misled idea better, of watching streams from around the world on my PC… but then there are already sites for that too.

Verdict:
All in all, I like the whole W7 thing. Once I fixed the BSOD issue with my particular hardware conflict, I’ve had no troubles with it. And there are a few handy new things bundled with it.

Windows 7, its the new XP SP2! On the New World Otter Arbitrary Scale of things, I give it 7 Flying Toasters out of 10.

Seriously?!

I’d heard rumors that G4 would be airing an animated version of Spaceballs. Then one day while flipping the channels I came across it. Rather, blindsided by it.

This sucks space-donkey-balls. It shouldn’t, but it does. Not a laugh, not a snicker. It was 2 hours (watched 4 episodes… I tried I tried to like it) of meh.

The Animated Series is a vain attempt to cash in on a classic, but dead, property by using childish “humor” and sex-for-the-sake-of-we-can-get-away-with-it to merely lampoon other dead properties and long out of the headlines news makers (eg. one episode crosses Jurassic park with Barry Bonds).

Many of the players are back. Mel Brooks produces it with original co-conspirator Thomas Meehan; and reprises his roles as Yogurt and Scroob. Joan Rivers is back as Dot; they even dug up Daphne Zuniga for Vespa.

Rick Moranis and Bill Pullman (Lord Dark Helmet and Lonestar respectively) did not return (to which I give them credit). They have been replaced with pale comparisons. At least Tino Insana’s “Barf” attempts to come close to sounding like Legend John Candy. Which isn’t saying much.

The animation is weak. It’s rigid cutout flash doesn’t mesh with Brook’s work (even though this barely resembles Brook’s work). It’s flat. And when you’re making expanding boob jokes every 30 seconds, flat become awkward.

Very awkward. Like Spike TV’s style animation awkward (remember their brief “resurrection” and defiling of Ren & Stimpy? Yeah, that bad)

There was just no reason to do this (except maybe ironically to live up to the “sequel” Spaceballs 2: The Search for More Money”).

The 1987 Spaceballs movie was a nice blend of blue, physical and goofball comedy – typical Mel Brooks. Though not one of his best, its a cult classic at least.

This, this needs to get introduced to Spaceballs: The Flame Thrower!

Out of a possible 5 Dinkdinks, this get SQUADOOOOOOOOOOO! I am ashamed of you Mr. Brooks.

What does this have anything to do with The Dark Knight? Absolutely nothing. However when a film like this comes about, you’d like to start off a review with something more profound than OH MY FREAKIN GOD THIS IS 120 PROOF AWESOMENESS SAUCE!!!!111oneoneone…

With Batman Begins, Christopher Nolan tore down the campy exterior of the franchise and thankfully put up a realistic, gritty facade more becoming of a brooding guardian of the city. So when the clown prince was declared the villain, you had to wonder of that realism was going to get tossed out the newly installed plate glass windows.

It didn’t in Warner Brothers’ The Dark Knight. The tone remained as hard boiled as the masked detective, even in the face of the wonderfully over the top performance of Ledger and The Joker, who is the movie.

There is little gimmick to this Joker. He’s absolutely psychotic, and he knows it. That’s it. No overplay on cheap jokes or magic tricks (save one brilliant one at his introduction). No laughing gas, no giant balloons of doom… just simple chaos. All with a smile.

I really can’t do Heath’s job justice, except that I was worried in the beginning on how he would do it and grief stricken that he’s not here to do it again. Just go see it.

The story is simple. The Batman has been waging war on the underworld since the first movie inspiring change in Gotham. With the new D.A. Harvey Dent, the mobsters are at a loss for ideas. In come the the green haired “stranger” vowing to help them. But as you can figure with The Joker, its not so simple.

Without saying too much, there is a twist at the end. Batman faithful can and have already figured it out, but you’ll be pleasantly surprised on where it takes the story, and make you scratch your heads on how they’ll do an encore.

Alright, so it’s been ages since I did a review… I know this isn’t too helpful. But then again all I really had to say was said: OH MY FREAKIN’ GOD THIS IS 120 PROOF AWESOMENESS SAUCE!!!!111oneoneone… That, and it makes toast out of sliced bread.

See it, pre-order the DVD, name your first born Bruce, etc etc.

Overview

Based out of Melbourne, Florida, Random Disorder is a band that harkens back to the early days of hard rock… before the glam, before the gimmicks, before anything that would detract from the music itself. They’re what used to be called a “power trio” – guitar, bass and drums – much in the same vein as bands like Rush and Triumph. And though Random Disorder’s style can be easily be compared to Rush, they don’t try to cheaply emulate them as many have in the past. Random Disorder is their own band with their own sound.

For a relatively new band, R.D.’s music is very technically adept. There are some groups that just play their instruments and sing their vocals and that’s about it. Random Disorder’s instrumentation, on the other hand, blend together and complement each other quite nicely – creating a unified yet cacophonous sound.

Some notes on them from the individual level: There are two vocalists – Tod Wellman and Larry Moore – each with their own sound. Larry has a rip your face off, Geddy Lee octave, rock vocal and Tod has a deeper, at-times-haunting-at-times-gravely, vocal.

Larry also plays guitar and lays down some nice riffs and solos. Tod’s on bass and a prominent one too – where as many bassists these days are relegated to background tracks just for rhythm, he gets full use of his instrument. Rounding out the trio is Richard Harding on drums as the band’s metronome. The man plays like he’s got an extra arm. With well placed fills and crashes (lots of crashes), he sets the complex groove.

Key tracks:

Goodbye Paradise – It’s the album’s finale, however I bring it up first because it pretty much embodies everything above. It’s a “radio friendly” hard rock track that showcases everyone’s abilities and were there singles off this album this would be it.

The Chosen One – my personal favorite. It’s a dark, introspective tune with a creeping bass, and could serve nicely as any brooding anti-hero’s (yours truly) theme.

The Face – serves as the pre-requisite ballad for the record; though its neither lighthearted or sappy as most metal ballads tend to get. One good thing about being unsigned I guess.

Lies - Again another example of great combination. Guitar, drums and bass harmonize to create an ethereal sounding lead-in (reprised again later in the song) that suckers you in then hits you hard. This would make another good single.

What Can I Do – Track one sets the mood. Richard’s train track beat and Larry guitar feedback pull you into the rest of the album.

The Verdict

Somebody sign these guys! All in all a great record. There are a few hiccups lyrically, but that goes without saying on a first go around. But even that’s nothing major, just a missed opportunity to add a better hook… purely cosmetic.

On the New World Otter scale or random things Random Disorder gets 6 out 6 cymbal crashes. These guys are good and I hope they make it big.

Headphonability – Definitely easy on the ears and the basslines are good to zone out to in the dark. However, with the lack of envelope shifts and subtleties, theres nothing you can’t get from a massive speaker that you can by jamming it in your ears.

Travelicity (not to be confused with the traveling lawn ornament) – Despite not being headphone necessary, its good iPod fodder to walk, run or any other method of physical exertion you can think of. So yes, road music ahoy!

Replayability – this is a tricky one. Yes and no. No, because it is a bit heavy in the overall tone (i.e. Chosen One, Price of Freedom). Yes, because it does get better after each play. So let’s say it’ll stand the test of time so long as you change your CD tray every once in a while.

But where to get it?

Glad you asked, Jimmy!

Go now to both RandomDisorder.com and www.myspace.com/randomdisorder (now! At the same time! It’s the era of tabbed browsing damnit!). There you’ll find audio samples and ways to get the CD (about 11 bucks I think)

Again – RANDOMDISORDER.COM & MYSPACE (add them, promote them… its an NWOt directive).

Sounds like a dream. Except for one thing… it’s clunky! Sometime having the world at your fingertips can be a bad thing. Everyone and their dog can add their podcast to iTunes and as a result you go into the search and theres thousands of dead or dying listings.

Instant Media (you remember Instant Media, this is a review about Instant Media) is a much nicer and sleeker program when it comes to this sort of thing.

The interface is easy to use. Videocasts and Audiocasts are easily marked, and within each a nice navigation side bar with a more detailed subject list than iTunes as well as the number of casts that are in each category).

As for the content, the folks at IM are a bit more picky when it comes to who gets to use their system to broadcast. Despite this, IM has more featured Videocasts now than iTunes. The audiocasts are building, but at least you can sift though them easier. Most of these you can get at iTunes too, but there are some exclusives to IM… which depending on your tastes can be a good or bad thing.

The listed content is also all free, which is a good thing (especially if you’ve ever clicked buy in iTunes by mistake).

And, unlike iTunes, if your favorite casts aren’t listed, IM has an add feed function where you provide the RSS URL of whatever it is you’re currently watching. The feed for NWOt radio is http://www.newworldotter.com/radio/wp-rss2.php by the way.

Now for a bit of the techno-babble. Once subscribed to your media, IM has a wide array of things to fiddle with. You can set filters to allow or exclude content by keywords; set how often you want to grab new stuff; and set how long you want your downloads to hang around before deletion. You can of course, opt to save the shows to other folders once downloaded.

The download engine is a bit torrent system which makes downloading much quicker. That is to say, instead of d/l just from the originating website, you also get from other users.

Another 1-up on iTunes is the news aggregator. You can subscribe to the headlines of all sorts of news organizations. The only drawback to this is the Add RSS function doesn’t work here, so you’re limited to the (so far) 57 news agencies listed.

IM has a versitile media player cabable of HD and can run the gamut of codecs and formats. It also includes the capability to index your mp3 collection, but that’s meh. It doesn’t keep any of the statistics or meta data that iTunes boasts. Nor can you get more music on a whim.

On to some downsides. When browsing the listings, there is no way to see info on individual episodes; you’ll have to subscribe first and this can lead to a lot of unwanted downloads. There is also no built-in method to get your downloads to your iPod or other miscellaneous devices.

All in all though, I say keep the iTunes for your music, but use Instant Media for everything else. Unless you’re on a Mac… they’re still working on that.

Thats’ what Ozzy Under Cover is – a tribute to his influences and equals. Some you can easily see like King Crimson, The Crazy World of Arthur Brown, Joe Walsh, Rolling Stones, Cream,and Mountain – you know the raucous weirdos. It takes a stretch imagining covers of The Beatles, Lennon solo, Buffalo Springfield, Eric Burdon, Mott the Hoople and the Moody Blues.

Notable tracks include In My Life (the Beatles) – by far the best track of the album. There’s definitively feeling in Ozzy’s trademark rasp and it sounds more like a confession than a cover.

Sunshine of Your Love by Cream sounds as if it were written for Ozzy, and its obvious that this was a key influence on the Wizard.

The Moody Blue’s Go Now was a nice surprise, because not even the Moody Blues does it anymore. Though, oddly enough it was that type of blues rock that Ozzy started with (before Black Sabbath was Black Sabbath), so maybe this is more of a tribute to the musical path he never went down. Still, this is one of the better tracks from the album.

On the other hand, some tracks like All the Young Dudes (Mott the Hoople) and Buffalo Springfield’s For What its Worth (‘There’s something happenin’ here, and it ain’t exactly clear…’) are meh. The first sounded flat and phoned in, the latter is a protest song and not even in the same town as Ozzy’s alley.

Still, a pretty decent endeavor overall.

The Verdict

A respectable 4.9 out of 6 on the arbitrary NWOt scale. Points were deducted for the couple of meh tracks. If they were gone then it could be a 6 just for In My Life and Lennon’s Working Class Hero alone. But hey, 11 out 13 tracks aint bad.

Conspicuous by it’s absence, by the way, is the often existence-denied cover of the Bee Gee’s Stayin Alive (not even as a hidden track) – although I’m sure everyone has it downloaded somewhere.

Headphonability – none of the tracks are “heavy” and will blow out your eardrums. However, this is Ozzy we’re talking about, and he’s as high pitched as ever.

Travelicity – Not road music! Maybe you can add Rocky Mountain Way or Fire to a compilation or something.

Replayability – This isn’t the type of thing I’d stick in the CD player and forget about. Break it up into various disks and playlists and it’ll be appreciated longer.

Apparently there’s a Dual Disk version out there with video, but my mishugena music club sent me the album only!

I’ve seen a good number of Nicholas Cage’s films in my day, most left me wondering exactly who in their right mind would cough up 10 cents to produce those stinkers. There were exceptions, of course; “Con Air” comes to mind, as does “Gone in 60 Seconds” but most were just crap. So when “Lord of War” started getting hyped all over creation, I was curious, but not curiuos enough to waste time at the theater. I rented it the other day and was, well, pleasantly surprized. I can think of few other actors who could play the leading role as well as Cage did. Maybe Johnny Depp and Sidney Greenstreet being a ouple of that handful of exceptions. This leads to the title question are we witnessing a new Nicholas Cage? A Cage with more refined acting skills, or, like France, is there worse yet to come?

The story is simple: Nicholas Cage is an Americanized Ukrainian that goes out of his families resteraunt business and into imports and exports…of arms and munitions. No, Cage doesn’t stop at your mere AK-47/RPG/M-60. No Russian tanks, heicopters and pretty much anything else you can use to slaughter your neighbor and eat his kids can be found at his traveling emporium. Ethan Hawk is the federal agent whose sole mission in life is to run all over the planet trying to nail Cage for arms running. Throw in a coke snorting brother, a couple of Ukrainian parents for comic relief, a wife and a kid, the entire third world (including Russia), a few well known dictators, regional conflicts, and enough conventional weapons to slow even me down and you’re staring “Lord of War” dead in the eye.

Ratings and Rantings

Nicholas Cage has definitely prefected his dry, somewhat sardonic sense of humor for this role and considering the tone and flow of the movie, it jives more than the Bee Gees. However, whether this is good or bad, there is an underlying message to this film. It’s fairly obvious in several of the speeches Ethen Hawk gives and many of the events which take place throughout the film. Personally, I think the movie could have stood alone without getting preachy, but nonetheless, it does make for a good story and a relatively good message.

the first half of the film is basically Cage’s eary days getting started funding massacres and meeting/marrying his wife. For the most part this part of the movie is light hearted, and semi-Thompsonesque. But the secod half of the film shifts gears and starts down the preachy road of being poignent. This is a road I usually dislike this road and where it leads, but for this film I’m willing not to dock it too many points mainly because it makes it without sacraficing the entire film. the only other real downer of the film is the part which show Cage at home with his family. These aren’t particularly bad scenes, however they’re the equivalent of driving at around 140MPH then suddenly and abruptly slamming on the breaks and applying the e-break. They tend to be very slow and sort of screw up the overall rythm of the film.

Anyhow, the movie is well worth the time in front of the tube, so I’m going to give it a 4 1/2 out of a possible 6, 1 1/2 points docked for the reasons mentioned.

By Ray Macula

Not Something To Watch On A Mixture Of Alcohol And Pain Relievers

No, No. I know what you’re thinking, but no I was completely sober when I watched it. Promise. However, I thought I’d put up that title as a general warning to you, my target audience, as the plot is about as convoluted as Howard Dean is nutty and story jumps around about as much as a Tarrintino film. Because of the sheer mental exercize it gives you as you attempt to piece together just what in the HELL is going on, I’m going to leave my description short and sweet…well, short anyway.

Some British Diplomat Guy (BDG) falls in love with and marries some British Lefty Activist Girl (BLAG) than gets transferred to Africa and she tags along. After a whole lot of seemingly high school drama b.s. and what appears to be tremendous infidelity on her part, she apparently dies from torture, rape, and murder, in that order, out in the middle of nowhere…I think it was in that order…

Anyways, instead of just figuring that she was an unfaithful bitch and got what she deserved at the hands of some outback thugs, he starts noticing that there are some serious weird things going on, most of which point to extreme cover up. And thus begins his journey into a very bizarr and highly thought provoking movie.

Ratings and Rantings

This movie is very intelligently done, and about as orthodox as a black white supremacist. As I’ve mentioned, how many time now? the story jumps around alot. It starts off just before the murder, then back tracks a little, then goes to body identification, then back tracks to the start. That’s the first 20 minutes. This is pretty much goes on all movie long, several times going back to the murder.

The plot doesn’t just have a twist, it has a highway of twists, turns and loops that resembles the California highway system. The whole time you get to sit there, take in the new information, and attempt to process it into soem sort of coherent plot. The out come wasn’t what I expected, but it did flow well, and although there are those who will not be happy with the ending, it does make sense.

On the NWOt Rating Scale it gets a 6 out of 6

Born into a minor faction of divided Mongol tribes, Temujin would rise to become emperor of half the world and leader of a united Mongol aristocracy. How’d he do it? decimation of peoples and lands, yes, but also through the careful and good choices in appointing military leaders and goverment officials.

Archers Forward

Although he does tend to blow over the many varied battles that range anwhere from Mongolia to China all the way through the Middle East to European Russia, De Hartog does an exemplery job of chonicling the life and time of the Great Khan. He doesn’t alone simply harp on the battles and mass executions which followed a Mongol conquest, either. He devotes an entire chapter to the governmental and day to day runnings of the conquered lands. Also he give a detailed account of how Genghis Khan’s opponents ran their empires and the struggles that helped bring them to their knees. Aside from his tendency to blow through battles, the other only real complaint is that he just sort of ends the book in an awkward place.

all in all, though the book made for excellent and exciting reading 6 out of 6

Three years later – redemption. Universal bought the rights after record DVD preorder numbers and gave the show’s creator, Joss Whedon, the greenlight to make a Firefly movie. And here we are – Serenity.

The Premise

In the distant future, the human race spread to a new solar system. The Alliance (boo hiss) waged war to control it all. They won and the Browncoats (independence fighters) were crushed.

Enter Captain Mal Reynolds, a former Browncoat (only in the sense that the browncoats dispanded), and leader of a band of space pirates. All they want to do is live their lives… at the expense of the Alliance, of course.

Enter Simon Tam, and his dingy sister River, fugitives from the Alliance who get mixed up with Reynold’s dealings. He’s a doctor, she’s a weapon with a secret.

The Execution

Fans of Firefly already know that this is an awesome movie, even before any filming took place. Why? Because Firely was awesome, both in writing and concept. However, we’ll get to a Browcoats review later.

Let me speak to the uninitiated for a moment…

There’s ample exposition for anyone to get into this movie. The characters one by one are developed in such a way that this can be considered a stand alone movie. The plot too becomes apparent early on (or so you’d think). The twist comes later on.

Now, this is Whedon’s movie directing debut, but you wouldn’t think it. Serenity is spectacularly shot and choreographed. Action/sci-fi fans will be dazzled by River’s “Ballet-Fu” and the ultra-realistic ship battles. Cerebral/sci-fi fans will love the always present witty and natural banter between the characters; as well as the twisty-turny storyline.

Non sci-fi fans will take to all that above, because even though it is a Space Opera – it’s not full of technobabble geared at comiccon regulars.

Now to any Browncoats who didn’t see it by now (all one of you): it is indeed awesome; a lot of questions are answered; bring tissues… that’s all I’m saying.

The Verdict

Serenity is a very real movie for being an escapist flick. Joss Whedon is a prodigy that Hollywood is beginning to ebrace, and that’s a good thing. I recommend Serenity to all. I give it 6 out of 6 engine compressor coils.

But don’t take my word on it, check out the NY Times:

Scene for scene, “Serenity” is more engaging and certainly better written and acted than any of Mr. Lucas’s recent screen entertainments. Mr. Whedon isn’t aiming to conquer the pop-culture universe with a branded mythology; he just wants us to hitch a ride to a galaxy far, far away and have a good time.
- MANOHLA DARGIS