Too Much Information!! (sometimes)

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One of the disadvantages of unemployment is running out of DVDs and VHSs to peruse… with an added reluctance to get new ones because it’d look like you’ve got your priorities mixed up. So the day-time TV has got me it it’s clutches.

Luckily with the whole digital everything revolution thing, we’ve now got the Programming Grid” to speed through rather than ripping off the proverbial knob. If you’ve not got this feature yet, its basically an on screen box that lets you watch one piece of shoe while reading descriptions about other shows that won’t interest you either.

As I scrolled past the lately unreliable Cartoon Network, I found what could be the ultimate waste of words ever scribed:

“Cat, Tom, and mouse, Jerry, try to outwit each other.”

…?

…!

“Puss Gets the Boot”, the first Tom and Jerry cartoon, premiered February 10th 1940. The only way “Cat, Tom, and mouse, Jerry, try to outwit each other” would ever be required is if someone who went comatose February 9th 1940 suddenly woke-up… and if that’s the case, explaining what is TV rather than what’s on TV may be more prudent. EVERYBODY KNOWS WHAT TOM AND JERRY IS ABOUT! There’s no need to put it in writing!

Especially if it takes time away from other descriptions. For as over informational as the programming grid can be, it drops the ball just as stupidly. Like on movies with long titles; titles such as “It’s a Mad Mad Mad Mad…”

It’s a Mad Mad Mad Mad… what?! Turnip? Mamajama? Mad Mad Mad Mad Mad? Don’t leave me in suspense!

Of course I know it’s “World.” If I didn’t I’d have to give up my funny bone license. But it gets better – the description read “Couples search for treasure.” That’s a reality show, isn’t it? And it failed to mention any cast… THE CAST IS THE POINT OF THE MOVIE GODDAMNIT, HOW CAN YOU NOT LIST ANY CAST?! Sid Caesar, Micky Rooney, Milton Berle, Phil Silvers, Spencer Tracy, and over 70 other classic comedians and stars and you guys couldn’t even mention one?!

Yet they feel the need to spell out Tom and Jerry. Looks like I’m not the only one with mixed up priorities… I think I’ll go buy some DVDs.

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Ryan is an artist / writer out of Melbourne, FL.

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