Ask Mr. Eccentric

Highly unqualified, Mr. Eccentric answers your burning questions about the world and personal problems; or makes up your burning questions about the world and personal problems; or burns your questions about the world and personal problems… or something like that.

Philatelist of Grievances

July 11, 2008

Dear Mr. Eccentric, What is up with the constant bump in postage stamp prices?! It’s not like it gets ’em there any faster! Signed, W.H. Russell, St. Joseph, Missouri

A Cookie Question

July 25, 2006

Dear Mr. Eccentric Me and some of my Navy buddies noticed something the other day. Major brand cookies, like Oreos for example, seem taste different from season to season, even pack to pack – like hard cream and crumbly cookies one day and gooey cream and rock hard cookies the next. Are we imagining things…

In Need of a Quack

June 1, 2006

Dear Mr. Eccentric, I am a 14-year-old wreck. I am obese and eat way too much, play too many video games, stay up way past midnight, ditch classes and sleep with all sorts of people. I know its bad the lifestyle I lead, but it’s hard for me to stop. I went to my parents…

It’s Plane to See

May 6, 2006

Dear Mr. Eccentric Sir, you’ve got to help me. Right now I’m on a airplane headed to Australia. We left from Newark NJ and the captain said we’re currently just over Redding, PA. The problem is the child in the seat behind me has already begun the whole kicking the back of my seat thing…

Which Way to Oxford?

April 13, 2006

Dear Mr. Eccentric, I’m a bachelor, 30 years of age, living in Burbank California. My nephew from a brother I’ve not spoken with for a good 12 years (out of his own volition) has phoned me. He’s 18 and wants to stay with me a while whilst searching out Californian colleges. Yes, he’s blood, but…