Random Fire Round: Yahoo! Answers

My editor had the brilliant idea of sending me over to the Yahoo! Answers page to mine for questions. Dear god, after 5 minutes my nose began gushing blood. Luckily my head is enwrapped in brown paper.

Anyhoo, let’s begin the random-fire round with some answerables:

If my friend and I forgive each other, should I give her a Christmas present?

Yes… unless that’s where the initial rift happened. Or if it’s a fruit cake. A fruit cake would lead to some Hatfield and McCoy generational hatred.

Get her a gift card. Unless it’s a RadioShack gift card.

You know what, no… no gifts this year.

Where do my socks go at night?

They attend D.D.D.V. meetings. That’s the Dearly Depaired [sic] Dryer Victims support group. It’s a safe space for socks who’ve recently lost their significant others to appliance related violence, and think no one will give a darn about them.

Is throwing your hair in the garbage safe?

I wanted to be sure because in biology we learned that it had DNA and stuff so is is safe?

With the cocktail of chemicals ending up in landfills these days, it’s only a matter of time they randomly form a glowing green mutagen that will inevitable clone you from the DNA in your hair.

I’m assuming you cutting your hair and not pulling it out by the roots. If that’s the case, then you’d only be getting a clone from you mitochondrial DNA. Only the hair root has your full set of genetic blueprints. That said, would only be getting the typical lumbering, clod like primitive clone.

Doubting it would instantly form knowing your address or phone number, you’d be fine… but ole Mr. Jacobson, the night dump-guard, well… send flowers.

Submit you questions to Yahoo! Answers and I’ll trip over them eventually the next time we run out of ideas!
Or do the right thing and submit them to me first!

Cover Image a mashup of freeimage.com pics from: Armed, Yaroslav B, and chiru.