Newest -
- Anyone can be dictator, it's that whole not being overthrown that seems to get most people.
- Those who would study poverty to reduce it should note that the study of Zoology hasn't reduced zoos.
- Totalitarianism relies as heavily on morality as it does the jack-booted minion.
- As big as you will allow your government to get, your freedoms will equivalently shrink.
- Ireland and America are probably the most similar of the former British colonies. We both were conquered, occupied, and oppressed by the English; we both earned our independance through the blood shed of our fore fathers in bloody revolutions; and to this day, both of our nations are divided in the north, which have populations still largely loyal to the crown.
- Llamas: The user friendly pack animal/coyote repellant you feed.
- How in the HELL do you confuse pregnancy with the flu?!
- A drunk raccoon - now there's a fighting machine.
- Northern by Birth. Southern by Blood. Western by My State of Mind.
- Mini-Mag Lights: For when your cribbage game just won't wait!
- I'll send you a postcard from 'I Give a Fuck' if I get there.
- Release the whore within.
- New Equation Time: Pro-Life = Socialism. Let me explain: if a zygote is life and therefore worthy of protections and rights which will ensuresustaining that life, than all life is worthy and the stereotypical welfare bum also worthy of rights and protection to ensure his/her life, eg, the welfare state. The welfare state is of course, extended to everyone as one one life is greater than any other (all lives are equal) and therefore welfare must be distributed to everyone. Everyone on welfare creates the super welfare state and that is in turn a socialistic governance. Thus pro-life = socialism.
- Walmart truly is the Land that Evolution Forgot.
- There's nothing quite like
- France is once again burning - and there was much rejoicing.
- I’m here to get drunk and chase women...and I'm all out of women.
- Things Inappropriate To Say To Your Employer When Designing Their Christmas Cards: " This picture you gave me is CRAP!! YOUR crap is ruining my design for the card!! You know why? Because you are all CRAP!!! Me, I'm quality, you - you're crap!! Take notes, I'll wait."
- The road to hell is paved with computer techies.
- Freedom comes not from the power of God, but from the power of armed individuals to send terror into the hearts of politicians everywhere.
- No man can be free when he allows a price tag to be attached to his rights.
- Ask a prophet a question and you'll get a question.
Ask a scientist a question and you'll get a forumla.
Ask a person of standard intelligence and you'll get an answer.
Ask a fool a question and you'll get a coversation.
- Insurance: A form of gambling where you place great sums of money on the worst things happening to you or your property, but unlike the more standard type is not oppressed by the moralists of the world.
- Moralism is oppression disguised with warm and fuzzy feelings of superiority.
- It's odd that some wars are never forgotten while other are hardly known. The Trojan War has surpassed eons and still lives in the minds of Western men everywhere. Meanwhile, the Italian-Turkish War of 1912 is a mere foot note of history, and yet it was the first war in history to employ the airplane as a military tool.
- There is one language which transcends borders, language barriors, and even time and space. It is understandable to both the most intelligent and most backward of individuals. In English, we call it 'violence.'
- Communism has found a place in history - file sharing.
- Idiots are the best people at finding opportunities - how often do they miss an opportunity to say something stupid?
- Consistancy can be dangerous - look at France.
- It's the candy apple red of blue.
- On Rock Springs WY: It's a whiter, less populated more mountainous version of Jersey City...with more sex shops to boot.
- Self preservation is good and often yields hilarious results
- Weird is weird. But weird on an assortment of mind altering chemicals is a government contract.
- The problem with being a 'Nation of Laws' is that sooner or later you'll laws regulating everything in your nation.
- Lawyers are nothing more than business men with funny jargon.
- It is impossible to claim to have a moral country when the citizenry are restricted by law from making any form of moral decision.
- Poverty cannot be solved simply by money or by its study. One must be educated out of poverty.
- Three things politicians are consistantly involving themselves in and consistanty bungling: Freedom, Politics, War.
- Education is insurance not assurance.
- On Tipman Paintball Guns: It's the AK-47 of paintball guns.
- On Moose: Swamp donkeies - ain't nuthin' wrong with that.
- Infomercials: Bringing flawed plans and products to trailers everywhere.
- I'm not sure why turbulence bothers people so much. Just like in bad sci-fi you can see the strings on plane...wait a minute there were no strings! THERE WERE NO STRINGS!!!! Awwww, crap...
- The Welsh: Interesting people; good jelly.
- The road to hell is paved with computer techies.
- Freedom comes not from the power of God, but from the power of armed individuals to send terror into the hearts of politicians everywhere.
- No man can be free when he allows a price tag to be attached to his rights.
- Ask a prophet a question and you'll get a question.
Ask a scientist a question and you'll get a forumla.
Ask a person of standard intelligence and you'll get an answer.
Ask a fool a question and you'll get a coversation.
- Insurance: A form of gambling where you place great sums of money on the worst things happening to you or your property, but unlike the more standard type is not oppressed by the moralists of the world.
- Moralism is oppression disguised with warm and fuzzy feelings of superiority.
- It's odd that some wars are never forgotten while other are hardly known. The Trojan War has surpassed eons and still lives in the minds of Western men everywhere. Meanwhile, the Italian-Turkish War of 1912 is a mere footnote of history, and yet it was the first war in history to employ the airplane as a military tool.
- There is one language which transcends borders, language barriers, and even time and space. It is understandable to both the most intelligent and most backward of individuals. In English, we call it 'violence.'
- Communism has found a place in history - file sharing.
- Idiots are the best people at finding opportunities - how often do they miss an opportunity to say something stupid?
- Consistancy can be dangerous - look at France.
- On Approaching Girls That Want To Be "More Than Just Friends": This isn't something simple like setting foreign policy or a bar fight, this is someone who actually doesn't want to kill you. What in the HELL am I supposed to do with that?
- On Election Day: Lesser Of Two Evils Day would be a more appropriate description.
- The Red Socks this week broke their long held curse and won the Super Bowl, thus proving that even the metaphysical and supernatural are mere amateurs compared to the power of the Almighty Dollar. The St. Louis Cardinals? What the HELL were you thinking? How is it believable that they made it to the Super Bowl playing the way they did and the Yankees didn't playing the way they do?
- Screw territories. Guam, Wake, American Samoa, Midway, and U.S. Virgin islands for states 51-55! Write your Congressmen people!!!!
- On Reading Words of Whizzbang for Reasons Other Than Entertainment: You're actually taking advice from a man whose coping capabilities are at best flawed and whose notions of normalcy can only be described as outlandish. FAILURE TO HEED THIS WARNING MAY RESULT IN YOUR IMPEACHMENT, DEPORTATION, MURDER, MULTIPLE SACK BEATINGS, BEAR ATTACK, SEVERAL EXPLOSIONS, A FIRE HAZARD, ACID SPILL, HAZ-MAT ALERT, EXECUTION FOR TREASON, BEING LABELED A PERSONA NON GRATA IN SEVERAL COUNTRIES INCLUDING FRANCE AND CALIFORNIA, MASS FLOODING, AND MUCH MORE UNPLEASANTNESS THAT YOU MAY BE USED TO. READER USAGE DISCRETION IS ADVISED.
- Have you ever seen the pancake bunny? When you do, you will know.
- You can make anything illegal if you put your mind to it.
- On reviewing my shirt reading "cheap costume": For me, Halloween comes and goes at my earliest convenience.
- Auctor: "What would you do if you won your own island in that sweepstakes? Me, I'd have a Hawaiian Vacation everyday for the rest of my life."
Lector: "Build bunkers, fortified compounds ports, missile silos and training grounds. Declare independence and begin amassing my unholy army of the night. Make a little deal with the Russians or Chinese or Koreans and become the world's newest nuclear power and then amass surplus tanks, carriers, etc. Then begin my conquest of smaller neighboring islands and the start of my tropical empire…either that or sell it off to the French, Germans or Russians for a nuclear sub fully stocked with nukes and torpedoes.
- Conquering Mexico is easy, look how many have done it.
- New York is a great place to be from…as far from as you can get.
- I'm about as smooth as a 95 ton freight train just barreling on down the line; there probably isn't any line where I'm barreling down but I just keep on a-going. The mighty oak doesn't stop me…
- The one thing I've noticed about horror movies is that no one ever tries to eat the monster that's chasing and trying to kill them. Think about it some creepy thing pops up on Jimmy, but Jimmy's prepare and takes a chunk right out of its arm, them what would it do? He wouldn't see that coming. I mean the last thing the thing that's hunting you would ever suspect is that it is in fact food for you; no one ever suspects that. I suspect that not only would monsters, ghouls, and slashers go good with hot sauce but that they'd mind their damned business if they were eaten whole sale by their intended victims more often
- The journey of 10,000 miles begins with the first beer.
- Wyoming Proverb: Indian make small fire, keep warm. White man make 40-acre fire, run like hell.
- I give people nightmares.
- Auctor: "Hey man, what's up?"
Lector: "Runnin' from the law - you wanna beer?"
- I see a great white illuminated cross on the field; I'm not sure if that means that God is on our side or if it's ass kicking season and He's put on His steel-toed boots.
- I've been to Crowheart [Wyoming], I've seen the store.
- Everything in life has a price. Sometimes you get off cheap with a few measly dollars, but mostly the cost is much more valuable than that.
- On Funerals: Money is meant to be invested in the living, not wasted on the dead.
- Happy people are incapable of humor.
- The Universe is a cruel place, but its cruelty can never surmount that which lies in the dark recesses of the mind.
- Comfort and happiness are an illusion; which is why they're so sought after - such rare commodities are they that they don't even exist. You can delude yourself for only so long but eventually you'll have nothing left to do but break out your butcher's knife and see how your cruelties match up against those of reality, and all the time hoping for the worst.
- You're all wrong, wrong as FRENCHMEN!!!
- On Jackson, WY: It's Martha Stewart Country.
AND
It's the Hamptons for people too cheap to live in New England.
- W.W.G.K.D.? - What Would Genghis Khan Do?
- On Fighting: All my power is in my legs, but unfortunately this ain't China and I ain't Bruce Lee.
- Ice cream always means disaster.
- On the Internet: It could have been a vast reservoir of useful, and sometime eccentric information, but instead it has become awash with bitchy 8yr olds and their curmudgeon elders who either complain about how great things were way back when or go about starting fights just to see who's chain they can yank.
- When you think you've come to expect too much from a candidate, vote.
- Legalities are technicalities, with cops attached to them.
- When in the garden of eyes and ears, the vole of discretion reigns supreme.
- Life is like a fruit vendor pelting us with the mangos of truth and the watermelons of disappointment.
- It's not the ride you show up in, it's how many people have to carry your drunk ass home.
- Nation building is impossible when one cares more about whether or not France and Ghana will like him then doing what is necessary to ensure lasting peace and order.
- Family is an impediment to individual achievement.
- Marriage is what you do when you want to lower your taxes. Children is what you do when you don't want to mow your lawn anymore.
- People are an obstacle to overcome.
- People exist to have their throats slit.
- Hatred and destruction are my morning routine.
- If the Catholics are right, I'm glad I'm going to Hell. If the Mormons are right, I'll dance the jig with Stalin when I get there.
- The worst people in the world to hang out with are Christian Nerds. They employ all the worst traits of each, and, are generally about as fun as cold oatmeal.
- I recently attempted to quell my father's fear of flying by telling him if the plane did crash, he'd be long dead before the jagged rocks and mountains tore the plane apart. For some strange reason that made him angrier.
- There is a river called 'Ignorance' that is deep enough to drown a horse and flows with the force of a white squall.
- Bullets used in their proper application often yield good results.
- There are 6 billion people on this planet; no one is a one in a million - everyone is expendable, everyone is replaceable.
- Golf, like most sports, is based on one premise - being drunk enough to enjoy oneself.
- Poop is often smelly.
- No news is bad news that hasn't happened yet.
- Porn can't keep you warm in Siberia.
- There's nothing like a good breakfast to start your morning off right...of course, there's nothing like starting your morning off at 1 in the afternoon.
- Drugs are the bastion of the weak.
- Share the wealth, spread the lead.
- Every slaughter needs its sheep.
- Control comes from the top (your brain) down.
- Power is everything.
- Defense lawyers should hang from the same branch as their clients.
- With great amounts of freedom comes great responsibility, and great
punishment.
- Death is as cheap as life and serves a greater purpose.
- Auctor: "[references to a cigarette] Popped your cherry, did you?"
Lector: " A gentleman never tells."
- Shit only rolls down hill, and usually comes in boulder force.
- People killing each other seems such a noble cause.
- One usually finds oneself up shit's creek during flooding season.
- A dangerous man is one who can both keep his secrets and extract yours with little more than a conversation.
- Said to a man with one testicle larger than the other (because of swelling) seeking a hug: "Hey 'One-Nut' how about a courtesy flap."
- Democracy and Dictatorship are about the same thing, controlling the masses. They do however, accomplish this goal in entirely different ways. Dictatorship dumbs-down the population, frees it of responsibilities by ever increasing a bureaucratic government, and ultimately by the very real threat of death and torture of the subject and his/her family. Effectively, it strips the masses of anything real or viably worth keeping and then employs the force of secret police and even military force (see Tiananmen Square 1989, Saddam Hussein's Regime, The Nazi Soviet Empires, et.al.) to maintain control. Democracy by contrast does just the opposite. It educates (at least to a certain degree) the populace, bestows many responsibilities up on them (even as much as allowing them to choose their leaders/rulers) and thus gives them everything to lose should the infrastructure of the system fail. Ultimately, Democracy in a very cunning way lures the greater bell curve of the masses (there will always be extremists on either side of the political lines trying to drive it down) into maintaining, through every means available to them, the system of the government for the government.
- Thoughts on the End of the World: Sit back and enjoy your oblivion, it's not everyday that you get to watch your enemies get theirs all the while you get yours.
- The nice thing about living in the country is that some of your nosiest neighbors have four legs and hunting seasons.
- Wyoming has to be one of the strangest places in the world. The people are out numbered by the antelope, the antelope are out numbered by the cattle; the most valuable thing out here is a nuclear weapons facility and possible most bizarre of all, Meth, not weed, is the drug of choice. Marijuana is merely a sideliner to alcohol.
- The Germans and Russians are a sadistic and paranoid race of socialists who would love nothing better than to abandon their military force for more social programs except for the fact that every time they turn around they see each other staring back with the same sadistic and paranoid look on their faces.
- On the Italian Culinary Arts of Wyoming: These people couldn't produce a decent pizza if they had the number for Domino's.
- Things never to say to a girl with clammy hands: It's a good thing your hand self-lubricates too, or I'd never get my fingers back.
- Excerpt of a conversation overheard in Wyoming:
Girl #1: "Well, it's still too cold to go swimming in the river"
Girl #2: " No! The ice is almost gone!"
- Why does Five For Fighting sound more like Nine For Whining?
- You'll always win when you're filled with apathy.
- Some men want a woman for her body; others want a woman for her looks. I want a woman who can do my taxes and NOT get me in trouble with the IRS.
- I am a cruel and unusual person.
- Theory on Personal Doom and Predestination: If going to Heaven (M) = level of adherence to religion (X), Sect (Y) as put forth by Holy Book (Z) and individual (I) is true to his/her true self (tS) and (I)*(tS) is not equal to XYZ, then (I)*(tS) goes to Hell. If individual (I) is not true to his/her, but rather XYZ then I = Hypocrite. If hypocrites are an abomination is the eyes of God (G), then (I) goes to Hell. Therefore, individual (I) is personally doomed regardless of whether he/she adheres to XYZ. Moreover, If God (G) = the great creator and omnipotent and omnipotence = all knowing and all seeing, then God (G) knew individual (I) would not = XYZ and therefore (G) predestined (I) for Hell or doom...Crap, the Calvinists were right all along...
- On Dating and Attraction: I am the universal paradox; I'm attracted and willing to date almost any girl universally, yet I'm universally repulsive to all girls.
- The bitterness of rejection is potentially fatal to anyone's character.
- If roses are red and violets are blue, what's white and sticky but not glue?
- Are you sorry because you were wrong or are you sorry that you were wrong?
- A focused mind is a terrible thing to face.
- There are three ways to do things: the right way; the wrong way; and the wrong way only 100 times more complicated and convoluted, and that, Grasshopper, is The Way of Ray.
- Don't take wooden nickels from anybody...except me; I use maple.
- Peppers are the fruit of the devil.
- Lector: " Do you really think I'm going to just sit here be bit by some rabid chipmunk like yourself?"
Auctor (female): "I am not a chipmunk!"
Lector: "Would you prefer squirrel, then?"
- There are two kinds of people in life: those that run from danger and those who react very, very, very, very, very poorly to it.
- Hypocrites are the worst kinds of liars - they lie to themselves and expect others to believe it.
- Those with high ideals should remember that poop floats.
- The most winning argument for personal doom is this: doom removes hope from one's life. With hope comes the fear of failure, fear that the element you hope for will be gone. Thus, the doomed have no hope, no fear, no future; they merely go through the motions without concern or compassion.
- I have all the tact and diplomacy of Attila the Hun in battle.
- Horses: Walking glue bottles.
- Cows: Food with horns.
- Turbulence: A roller coaster ride that could potentially kill you, therefore making it all the more fun.
- Wal-Mart is to Riverton as the Great Kills Landfill is to Staten Island:
It's the biggest thing around.
- On Gothic Male Bands wearing Dresses: Only Scottish men and heterosexual women can wear skirts and be straight.
- I thought I was cooking with gas, but as it turned out I had in fact set fire to the living room.
- I shall have my own Italian restaurant and it shall be called, "La Brutta Butana" (Trans: "The Ugly Whore").
- And now, a Wyoming inspired haiku:
Snow up high in sky,
Temperature change
Come down fast, hobo freeze.
- Auctor: "I've figured out how I'm finally going to get a girl friend!"
Lector: "How?"
Auctor: "With a butterfly net!"
- It is often brought up in religious arguments that if one can believe in far off places of the world such as China or Japan which they may have never seen, why is it so difficult to believe in a God that is unseen. I believe I have a solution to this problem: All that is required is for everything to be stamped "MADE BY GOD" and for Him to make fun of inferior American electronics and then threaten to annihilate California if Taiwan is not surrendered to Him immediately.
- With the amount of stupid it takes to power one hippy, we could run every car on Earth for the next 10,000 years and not have to worry about gasoline.
- What's a labyrinth without a 'Pit of Doom'?
- The interesting thing about California is that its first four letters Cali is only one letter off from the Indian goddess Kali, whose worshipers would sacrifice their neighbors through strangulation. The British eventually solved all their problems with Kali and her minions by sending in the troops slaughtering them to the last man and hanging their lifeless corpses from poles all along the roads.
- On the Mormon hierarchy: It's like the Upper Brass of the Catholic Church on a power binge.
- Death is the greatest non-entity of all time; its sheer abundance and inevitability make it hardly worth a passing thought.
- On Religion: Never trust middle managment. They'll screw up on something that you'll end up rotting in Hell for.
- You can get farther with a smile, a kind word and a brace of Jewish lawyers than with just a smile and a kind word.
- Lector: "We went small game hunting last night."
Auctor: "What'd you use bag 'em?"
Lector: "A Ford Escort."
- If I had a dialysis machine, so I could charge people 50 cents to use it and make a fortune under selling all the hospitals.
- If people keep looking at me like I ran over their cats, I'm going to run over enough cats to cover every inch of sidewalk...and that's gonna take a while since I don't have a car to run them down with either (fluffy's gonna meet my size 13s head on).
- The Catholic Church reminds me of the Jedi religion of the Star Wars movies: lead by the old, limp wristed and, if you look closely enough, you can generally find a Senator Palpatine on the rise.
- If you really want to know what it's liketo love a woman, stick a vacuum cleaner hose in your wallet and turn it on.
- Those who push Christmas cheer make themselves a greater pain in the rear.
- Christmas come just once a year, which is far too often an occurrence for those of us with better things to do.
- On New York: They named the wrong state misery.
- I am the counter revolutionary...or Ahab...I seem to have forgotten at the moment....
- Unbiased eduation and massive ordinance are all that necessary for the maintenance of freedom.
- If you want to relieve the oppressed, send tanks.
- The endurance of the human body is almost asgreat as the endurance of the human spirit. Certainly one of the best examples of this are the Cajun people of Louisiana and South Eastern Texas; thrown out of Canada by the British during the Seven Years War, the Cajuns marched and starved (often to death) finally settling in the bayous of Louisiana, where despite still losing many to starvation, they still managed to find something to eat and inspired an entire nation's cullinary heritage.
- Apathy and indifference are greater than any bureaucracy and twice as lethal.
- Lector: " It's not the point, it's the principle of the thing."
Auctor: "What's the principle?"
Lector: "That's not the point!"
Auctor: "What's the point then?!"
Lector: "It's in the top if your head you pencil neck!"
-Oh my what an odd-looking pineapple.
-Hell hath no fury like the twisted and imaginative (a.k.a. Military R&D) on a power binge.
-Everyone dies once in life… although they tend not to do too much after that.
- Oh my, how your pants gyrate in a sensual but non-threatening manner.
- Family: A collection of people you'd just as soon be enemies with, and maybe yet, but whom you're stuck with due to blood ties.
- The doom of Humanity will be paved in big governments, bureaucracy, and its protractors.
- Why use a lie as a shield when you can use the truth as a sledgehammer?
- In a time of pie, one man dared to go... BLUEBERRY!!!!
- Auctor: "Well, Bull Run can go kiss my ass!"
Lector: "Ok. Go smear your ass all over the battlefield."
-Why must the stench of failure linger over us like a cloud of VX gas over a small, over-populated city in China?
- That's so precious! I'm just welling up with internal bleeding...no seriously, call a medic...
- Reduce casualties - kill a peace protester
- Vegetarians: food for the survival competant
- What a strange world we live in, where the Spaniards are acting like Germans and the Germans are acting like Frenchmen. The French I'll spare from ill comments, for above all things that can be said to be true about them, they are at least consistant.
-And now, a disturbing haiku, for the sake of levity:
Electricity
It spies on me in my room
It knows all and waits
- Who ever this 'Nee' fellow was, he must have been a real jerk, for the reaction attributed to him is not a very flattering one.
- I was accident prone in high school, since that time I've received a college degree.
- Auctor: "My sales ability is so poor, I couldn't sell water to a dying man in the desert!"
Lector: "Of course not. Let's face it, he's in a frickin' desert and he's dying, he hasn't got anything to lose. So why should he waste his last cent on you're dumb ass over a bottle full of tap water?"
- Wir müssen ihnen zeigen was, ein Deutsch Offitzeer tun können.
Translation: We must show them what a German officer can do.
- Psychology only dogs the Civilized World.
- Blood tests: paying people exorbitant amounts of money to puncture us with sharp pointed metallic instruments in the hopes of drawing a substantial quantity of blood.
-Civilization is the natural opponent of Evolution
-I have a fax machine. Unfortunately, no one i know has one, so I've essentially got a fax line linked directly to nobody.
- Children are our future...that's why I invest heavily in bomb shelters.
- I only wish I knew that I didn't know what I wanted to do with my life before I got my degree; It would have saved me the time of going and doing it wrong
- Those who must train their minds for war, won't make it long enough to see a war.
- Freedom flourishes when government does nothing. Tyranny reigns when every law gets passed. Bureaucracy reigns when you can't do anything and it takes you a mountain of paper work to fill out in order for you pay through your nose for the privileged of doing it (nothing).
- Yuppies: Aged hippies with money that gave up the commune for Brooklyn Heights and know exactly what to do to help save wildlife.
- You can always tell a good government by how few laws it passes.
- Network TV programming: where those whose existence is merely a pointless exercise in Darwinian theory, can rise above their preplanned demise and make a fast buck too.
- No matter how you cut and slice it, a trip to Mr. industrial size wood chipper would do all of them a bit of good.
- I need to be paid, for the sheer fact that we make this god-forsaken planet filled with dregs so much less mundane and mediocratical.
- Societal opiates require a community to control; is it any wonder than that drugs aren't the only things that have "pure believers"?
- I'd rather level an opponent than a playing field.
- Parades have as much to do with pride, as casualties have to do with peacetime.
- There is nothing more stupid, inane, or contrived than a romantic movie...with the exception of the romantic comedy: everything that is wrong with a romantic movie, only in greater quantities.
- The hardest thing about money is trying to save it.
- Money is a lot like lead; it takes less time to send it down the barrel, than it does to get to you when you need it.
- I'm not a part of the problem, rather I'm out there causing entirely new ones, yet to be encountered or fathomed.
- Anybody can say, only a few can or will do.
- If you can't mine your own planet, than who's planet can you mine?
- Once I harness the power of the sun I'll....be able to burn a lot of stuff...
- Legitimate Authority has an annoying habit of shooting Lofty Ideals, but then again, Legitimate Authority often has all the guns, aircraft and tanks.
- China: living proof that a society which is given both money and repression won't strive to improve their situation.
- I didn't say it was right, I said it was typical.
- Never apply your values to someone else.
- When the going gets tough, the Uranium becomes scarce.
- 'No' isn't the hardest thing to have to cope with, other people are.
- Light beer is like diet soda; if you're going to invest in something that's high in calories, go all the way or don't and drink water. Either way, you'll be much happier.
- Is there ever a bad time for fishies?
- When all else fails, mock the French.
- Repeat after me: "www.newwolrdotter.com is the best site on the net and I full endorse and encourage you and your friends to visit it daily." Very good, now say it until you believe it.
- No matter how many nice people you run into on one day, it only takes one rotten bastard to ruin it all for you.
- Remember, what doesn't kill me, isn't working
- When in doubt, do a nuclear strike.
- Life sucks because god has a sick sense of humor.
- How much wood, would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck had a wood chipper?
- Nobody ever invades softly.
- Lawyers: Satan's answer to the "Divide and Conquer" theory.
- Politicians: people we pay to bribe us with our own money so they can screw us all anyway.
- The I.R.S.: No matter what they say, anyone who takes your money by force and has a badge to make it legal, is neither kind nor friendly.
- Any TV shows which advertise with adjectives such as wacky, sarcastic, family, animal life, fun, and/or uses mathematical equations with all these in them to prove how good it will be (ie: take one wacky guy add one sarcastic fish and watch the family fun) will invariably suck.