Too Much Information!! (sometimes)

One of the disadvantages of unemployment is running out of DVDs and VHSs to peruse… with an added reluctance to get new ones because it’d look like you’ve got your priorities mixed up. So the day-time TV has got me it it’s clutches.

Luckily with the whole digital everything revolution thing, we’ve now got the “Programming Grid” to speed through rather than ripping off the proverbial knob. If you’ve not got this feature yet, its basically an on screen box that lets you watch one piece of shoe while reading descriptions about other shows that won’t interest you either.

As I scrolled past the lately unreliable Cartoon Network, I found what could be the ultimate waste of words ever scribed:

“Cat Tom and mouse Jerry try to outwit each other.”

…?

…!

“Puss Gets the Boot”, the first Tom and Jerry cartoon, premiered February 10th 1940. The only way “Cat Tom and mouse Jerry try to outwit each other” would ever be required is if someone who went comatose February 9th 1940 suddenly woke-up… and if that’s the case, explaining what is TV rather than what’s on TV may be more prudent. EVERYBODY KNOWS WHAT TOM AND JERRY IS ABOUT! There’s no need to put it in writing!

Especially is it takes time away from other descriptions. For as over informational as the programming grid can be, it drops the ball just as stupidly. Like on movies with long titles; titles such as “It’s a Mad Mad Mad Mad…”

It’s a Mad Mad Mad Mad… what?! Turnip? Mamajama? Mad Mad Mad Mad Mad? Don’t leave me in suspense!

Of course I know it’s “World.” If I didn’t I’d have to give up my funny bone license. But it gets better – the description read “Couples search for treasure.” That’s a reality show, isn’t it? And it failed to mention any cast… THE CAST IS THE POINT OF THE MOVIE GODDAMNIT, HOW CAN YOU NOT LIST ANY CAST?! Sid Caesar, Micky Rooney, Milton Berle, Phil Silvers, Spencer Tracy, and over 70 other classic comedians and stars and you guys couldn’t even mention one?!

Yet they feel the need to spell out Tom and Jerry. Looks like I’m not the only one with mixed up priorities… I think I’ll go buy some DVDs.

The Stained Glass Tear Initiative

January 10th 2007 was the day we all learned that The Bush will no longer listen to reason and/or the American Public as he announced his “surge”. January 24th 2007 he compounded this with his State of the Union, again putting forward his deeply hated “surge.” Sure he had some good ideas domestically, but as we have seen with past SotU speeches, they will probably remain just ideas…

Congress is now working on measures and resolutions to bind the president non-bindingly. The man barely takes the Constitution seriously, what chance do these have. In fact the only resolution he would even consider would have to be printed on a briefcase full of cash.

And that said, impeachment is right out due to lack of backbone.

No, we must start taking matters into our own hands. In this I propose a start to such actions - The Stained Glass Tear Initiative… a personal appeal to The Bush.

Transcript-ish:
The United States is a unique country. We as its citizens have both the right and the duty to have our voices heard – be it by voting, participating in the rising blogophere or being fortunate enough to be a member of the mass media.

However, there is a growing feeling of “why botherness” (was supposed to be “why botherism,” but I just couldn’t get that out of my mouth) spreading across the landscape. It is that creeping feeling inside of us that makes us think that our input is useless. That we cannot enact change. That the powers that be will carry on their merry tune no matter what.

This malaise is emanating from the Bush’s administration… and looking at the scoreboard, it may be more than just a feeling.

Nowhere is this more apparent than the Bush’s speech back on January 10th, 2007, where he announced his “new strategy” in Iraq. The Bush (and I now call George W “The Bush,” not in the profane sense however appropriate that may be, but rather use “The” in the place of “Mister” for he no longer warrants the niceties civilized society bestows on a person) has decided to send another 20,000 souls charging into hell.

This is despite the objections of the newly elected representatives of the people; despite the objections of the media, who Thomas Jefferson entrusted to be the watchdogs of society; despite the objections of The Bush’s own party members; and despite the objections of the generals over in Iraq, who are running the circus as best they can.

The Bush seems to have forgotten the fact that he was elected by the people, and it the job of the Executive Branch to execute the will of the people… not EXECUTE the will of the people!

This, along with the economy, along with his policies on science, his policies on our rights, on education and the well being of the nation (or lack there of) act as nails in his coffin. A coffin that will secure him as our worst president ever. Though I doubt he sees them as nails but rather marble blocks to his shrine.

But no matter how futile it may seem, no matter how much it may feel we are just screaming into the void, we cannot give up. If but one voice can pierce the aura of psychosis surrounding The Bush, then our job as citizens is done.

Obviously I must have a plan of some sort, else why the rant…

I give you: The Stained Glass Tear Initiative. It’s a somewhat symbolic gesture of our disapproval of The Bush.

Download the PDF and follow along with me.

The tear is easy enough to understand. It represents our sorrow for our friends and family at war and our sorrow for the badness here at home.

The second motif at work is the stained glass look. This is an appeal to The Bush’s supposed Christian/spiritual sensibilities – that peace, love, brotherhood and understanding shall rule the day. It is intended to tug at The Bush’s soul, which isn’t going where he thinks its going unless he stops his nonsense.

Lastly, the whole thing is wrapped up in the guise of a child’s color-by-numbers project. It may simply be that we are over talking to the president – using big words and complex concepts he just cannot understand. True, he went to Yale. However, as of late, he’s been acting at a pre-K level. Look, a normal kid will stick his hand on the stove and instantly learn the meaning of IT’S HOT! The Bush, on the other hand, is constantly sticking his and in the blaze, getting nowhere except ending up with over 3000 dead and 47,000 injured. And that’s just on our side.

So maybe some funky colors will appeal to The Bush’s childlike mentality… nothing else has.

Your job in all this is simple. Take the template and color it in as per the instructions, sign it, and send it off to the White House:

The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue NW
Washington, DC 20500

or email comments@whitehouse.gov

or both if you are so inclined.

Also, should you have the time, hope over to the forums and post a picture or scan of you work. We will add it to the gallery which will serve as public record, as I doubt The Bush would acknowledge publicly such discord.

The Bush has become keen on the idea that reading your mail is a good thing, so let’s send him all the mail he can ever want.

Together, we can make a difference! Please, pass the word.

Mr. Olbermann's Special Comment 1/2/07

So it seems, despite all the intelligence and advice from the troops, Bush will send more troops, under the guise of “sacrifice.”

The man speaks the truth. Catch him Monday through Friday 8PM EST on MSNBC.