Archive for 2003
This Ain’t You Mum’s Teatime
Stuff you’ll be needing: Dinner roll sized Potato Rolls Sandwich stacker style sliced pickles Ketchup Lettuce Piccalilli Relish Egg Salad (however you like it) Cookies and/or Pastries Tea (no sh…) It’s amazing how pansyassed teatime can be. Tea built empires dammit! Now it’s resigned to old ladies and stuffed animals. Well screw that, it’s time…
Read MoreThe Mock Ploughman’s Sandwich
Ingredients: Hard Rolls or Italian/French Bread Branston Pickle American Cheese Thas as a mini version of a thing called a Ploughman’s lunch, which is some fruit, some veggies, a block of cheese and bread with a small cup of Branston Pickle – which is carrots, cauliflower, gherkins, marrows, onions. rutabega, tomatoes, and apples in a…
Read MoreA Modest Sized, Out of Control Ramble on Lawyers
A few months ago whilst on the NYC subway (where all the good things in life manifest themselves), I came upon ads for one of them there accidental law firms… you know the ones that leech off of society in the name of justice. And without a doubt, these ads prove that all, and I…
Read MoreKidd Video
Rock band turned animated fugitives in the this classic 80s cartoon that you thought existed but we’re sure of.
Read MoreThe Rundown
The Synopsis: In this Adventure/Comedy, a loan enforcer (The Rock) is sent to Brazil to track down his boss’ maverick archaeologist son (Seann William Scott), who has gotten mixed up in the gold mining town-that-time-evicted of EL Dorado, which is owned by the ever evil/eccentric Christopher Walken. Throw in some rebels (including a washed up…
Read MoreI Have Seen the Apocalypse and His Name is Jamie
Did you ever have one of those days, you know, where you’re ridding the bus and you come across the embodiment of everything that’s wrong in the world? No? Well, friend, sit down and listen… His name is Jamie. And, I know his name is Jamie, because his mom kept yelling it out every minute…
Read MoreDuck Dodgers
I must admit, I was a bit skeptic about the show when it began its advertising campaign. Whenever the WB tries to capitalize on the old Looney Tunes, the venture usually ends in disaster and seems to be 100% pure recycled gags (e.g. shorts like 1990’s short subject “Invasion of the Bunny Snatchers,” and crap…
Read MoreCall Him Out, Not At Home!
Faithful and causal readers of this site both know how I feel about the FOX network. I have railed against their lack of taste and lack of judgment. However, I’ve never specified the FOX News Network in one of these attacks… till now. This week, FOX News shamefully broadcast the home phone number of CNN…
Read MoreThe Simplicity of Life
Life is not simple. In fact, it’s quite unnecessarily over-complicated. Think about it… billions of peptides randomly swirled together in a puddle, which then randomly formed billions of proteins which then randomly walked ashore in the form of a being so chemically complex that they only now found the recipe. It was stuck to the…
Read MoreThe Journalist’s Responsibility
I have come to the conviction that anything I can publish on what will perhaps one day become my life’s work and/or legacy, is worth at least a B at a city college… and visa versa. That being said, I release to you an essay hot off the DeskJet (though with better print quality). It’s…
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