gavel

A Modest Sized, Out of Control Ramble on Lawyers

A few months ago whilst on the NYC subway (where all the good things in life manifest themselves), I came upon ads for one of them there accidental law firms… you know the ones that leech off of society in the name of justice. And without a doubt, these ads prove that all, and I mean all attorneys are pure hell-spawn.

Aye I know I’m stereotyping, but just look at these ads. I did not make them up, they are real. If I wasn’t afraid of lawsuit, I’d post the firm and its site.

Just take a long look at it… view a few cycles and suck in all the scumminess. I bet you never new just how much fun lead poisoning and malpractice could be, eh? Especially when they can buy you a yacht and a port of call in the Bahamas. Ooh and look at the heavy machinery… must be a new ride at Dis- er, no, don’t want to say the name. I might get sued.

How do these “lawyers’ sleep at night, bringing suit after litigation of really jerky “causes?” (Very well and on feather beds, apparently.)

All kidding aside though, people are way too too sensitive these days and level the poorly sighted double barrel of justice way to prematurely. Everything is “civil liberty” this and ‘violated rights” that. The civil law courtrooms these days are becoming nothing more than state-funded casinos with really loose slots!

Granted, accidents are one thing, people get hurt and do, from time to time, need justice. But even in accident cases, there has to be a line drawn someplace. I mean a guy (or his widow) should not be receiving millions after bringing a toaster into the bathtub just because the manufacturer didn’t put the “this is not a floatation device” label on the offending OPEN ELECTRICAL COIL UTILIZING DEVICE.

And trial lawyers… grr, don’t get me started on them.

What I don’t understand is why they always seem to escape Obstruction of Justice? Ok, court appointed defenders could be excused (though not really since they choose the line of work), because they really don’t know what they’re walking into. However, those high priced lawyers of the rich and infamous should get jail time along with the crook.

Think about it, they obviously know their client it guilty. Why else would an attorney go though Oscar caliber rhetoric and use every known loophole in the book to score the technicality? If your client it innocent, would not the evidence prove so; not a some ruling from 1923 which says “if the prosecution sneezes and does the Lindy Hop on the second Tuesday of the month, the case against the accused must be dropped.”

Justice is not being done in these cases, and the Defense is obstructing it… ergo, hang the defense. Just as the samurai went down with their master, lawyers should go down with their clients!

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Written by

Ryan Livingston

Ryan Livingston

Artist / Writer / internet disk jockey / retail wage slave / carbon based lifeform. Founder of the New World Otter and RML Studios

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