Are You Nuts?


A few days ago, that is to say a few months ago, I noticed something about “people” that made me wonder: “who is really insane?” I was using NYC mass transit (voted number one on the Top 100 places to have a revelation), this time on a fabled Staten Island bus.

On said bus a man sat, as many a man and woman sat before him, however with a few exceptions. He rocked back and forth, both giggling and groaning at the same time (neat trick); all the while he grasped a shrink-wrapped Queen’s phone book like it was his child, but not in a Michael Jackson hang- your- heir- off- the- side- of- a- building- so- the- kid- can- fly- over- the- crowd- like- a- soon- to- be- angel- if- he- keeps- this- crap- up sort of a way.

(No, no, I had no reason to add that beyond the fact that I needed to harangue the Clown Prince of Pop. Ok, back to the story).

Though it may not sound it from my description the guy was clearly unstable, or at any rate very, very “happy.”

Anyways, a little while later a woman with one of those double stroller jobbies and arms full of groceries signaled to get off. Of course you know where this is going: the man ate the kids to make her load easier.

Wait no, that’s not it.

Out of the crowd of straight laced and dignified people all dolled up in their fancy RÜsh Hou’r suits (and matching accessories), only the guy in the wrinkled sweatshirt and Bermuda shorts got up and helped. Not even the driver was going to lend a hand.

Where was I you ask? Well I was wearing fleece and having my toes crushed by a giant weeble of a, I wanna say, woman? Though as much as I would like to think I would have helped had I been closer and uncrippled, I probably wouldn’t. It’s just not one of those things that I’ve trained myself to come naturally.

Amazing though isn’t it? An insane man showing up a busload of jac… err… upstanding citizens. And I’m sorry if I misjudged him and he isn’t crazy, but boy he deserves and Oscar if he isn’t. Either way, there is a lesson here: We need to do better in the civility and manners departments, cause a vast majority are just posers.


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Ryan Livingston

Ryan is an artist / writer out of Melbourne, FL.

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