Ask Mr. Eccentric

Highly unqualified, Mr. Eccentric answers your burning questions about the world and personal problems; or makes up your burning questions about the world and personal problems; or burns your questions about the world and personal problems… or something like that.

Where’s Your Poseidon Now?

May 2, 2010

Dear Mr. Eccentric I can’t help but think there’s not enough coverage and/or outrage over the Deepwater Horizon disaster in the Gulf of Mexico. There seemed to be way more coverage and scandal with the Exon Valdez than with this rig. I don’t get it. I mean don’t get me wrong, the Valdez was horrendous;…

Over the Top Holiday

December 5, 2009

Dear Mr. Eccentric, I am having a huge holiday soiree is a few days for a few thousand of my closest friends. But, as I make my plans, I realized I could very well make a total ass of myself if I went too over the top. So, I need your humble advice: Which appetizer…

Near Manhattan Data Transfer

November 22, 2009

Dear Mr. Eccentric I’m not the most tech savvy person these days. I used to be – I mean, I always had the latest digital calculating devices, just take a look at my pride and joy HP-35 (see attached photo). But lately I’ve been seeing ads on my Philco (that is till the vacuum tube…

In The Dog House: Follow-up

October 7, 2008

You sonofa… I took your advice about the nutria for a family pet and the damn thing went on a rampage! It bit my son’s legs off the same night I brought it home. Luckily my wife is a skilled Amazon Huntress and was able to kill it before it got further. But man you…

In The Dog House

August 2, 2008

Dear Mr. Eccentric My name is Miguel. I am a jockey from Florida, and keep a whole bunch of horses on my land. But my son, he wants a real pet like a dog. I told him if I won my next race, I would get him his dog. At the time, I didn’t realize…