Ask Mr. Eccentric
Dear Mr. Eccentric My name is Miguel. I am a jockey from Florida, and keep a whole bunch of horses on my land. But my son, he wants a real pet like a dog. I told him if I won my next race, I would get him his dog. At the time, I didn’t realize…
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Dear Mr. Eccentric, What is up with the constant bump in postage stamp prices?! It’s not like it gets ’em there any faster! Signed, W.H. Russell, St. Joseph, Missouri
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Dear Mr. Eccentric Me and some of my Navy buddies noticed something the other day. Major brand cookies, like Oreos for example, seem taste different from season to season, even pack to pack – like hard cream and crumbly cookies one day and gooey cream and rock hard cookies the next. Are we imagining things…
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Dear Mr. Eccentric, I am a 14-year-old wreck. I am obese and eat way too much, play too many video games, stay up way past midnight, ditch classes and sleep with all sorts of people. I know its bad the lifestyle I lead, but it’s hard for me to stop. I went to my parents…
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Dear Mr. Eccentric Sir, you’ve got to help me. Right now I’m on a airplane headed to Australia. We left from Newark NJ and the captain said we’re currently just over Redding, PA. The problem is the child in the seat behind me has already begun the whole kicking the back of my seat thing…
Read MoreDear Mr. Eccentric, I’m a bachelor, 30 years of age, living in Burbank California. My nephew from a brother I’ve not spoken with for a good 12 years (out of his own volition) has phoned me. He’s 18 and wants to stay with me a while whilst searching out Californian colleges. Yes, he’s blood, but…
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Dear Mr. Eccentric, Is it true that the moon landing was done in a Hollywood studio like some people keep telling me it was, or did it really happen like I think? Sincerely, Curious in California Dear Mr.CuroCa, Ah, how politics illicit such intrigue in our lives. It is a good thing, Kurki, that you…
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Ah, hello there. Allow me to introduce yourself to myself. For legal purposes you cannot possibly fathom, my name is Mr. Eccentric, and I am the problem to all your answers… wait, what? I am the resident advice columnist for the New World Otter. It is here that I will provide answers to all your…
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