Generally, Election Day

Today is Election Day – perhaps the greatest day on the American Calendar! I only call it great not because the aging bowls of democracy gets its only movement, but because it signals the end of campaign season. The inane television ads – cease; the cacophonous radio spots – silenced; and the roadside signage – chopped down. I am sick of campaigning, and after this day is over my fever will clear.

When did we get so swamped with political ads? Yesterday, just about every other commercial was a political ad – amendments, candidates, attacks, referendums, slurs, muckraking and spin… yeck! And that was just the nightly news! It’s got to stop.

A) They’re cheesy; B) they’re all lies C) they’re cheesy! What’s with these ads now with the candidates doing the narration then saying they approved the message. NO FREAKIN’ DUH! I don’t think even politicians are stupid enough to go national and read copy that went un-butchered for continuity.

We should have the candidates approve of the ads against them… that’d shut it all up.

We need to label exactly who paid for the messages. Committees for the blank and blank of such and such doesn’t cut it. Whose wallet signed off the papers to form the fictitious name of this so-called committee? I mean the more savvy of us know… but to those who only get their political info from the glowing box on the wall it’s a political puppet show. Who are you going to follow? Punch, Judy or the puppeteer?

We need to stop all campaign ads the day before Election Day. That way it gives a solid 24 hours for voters to clear the eye candy out of their heads and THINK for a moment. Yes, I said THINK in relation to an election – thoughtcrime is in the air! High impact ads are no fair to the political process. It’s like college – whose party you going to head to? The one with blasting music and funky lights, of course.

Finally we need candidates who have the presidential air! You know, that thing when you drop a history book and it opens to a portrait and you know it’s of a president without even reading the caption. We’ve not had some one president like in a very long time – at least since Truman. Even James Garfield, who lasted only 3 months, had the air. Even Taft, the first Walrus ever elected president, had the air. Today – hot air.

It’s time to stop the over saturation of political ads. The media already has its fair share of clowns. Do we really need to increase their flock for a period of 4 months? Campaigns in other “civilized” countries last only about two weeks. Why not here?

But, as I say, at least it’s all over for another year. We now return to the mindless entertainment and crass commercialism we all know and love. For, at the end of the day, isn’t that what democracy is all about?

I’m Ryan Livingston, and I approved this rant.

And by the way, I did vote… so I have every right to complain for another 4 more years.