Junk Science Marches On!

Ok, so it seems that “they” are now saying that low carb diets aren’t good. The “they” in question are the proverbial “them,” who say such things.

Now it’s all about the fiber, baby. Eat stuff with high fiber and high carbs and you’ll feel fuller (thus tending not to eat as much), and you’ll have energy to burn the pounds off.

And they spend good money to tell us this stuff we already know. But we were all to afraid to disobey the Atkins overlords despite conventional wisdom.

Maybe we should just keep on doing what we’re doing. I mean, that’s the only advise left to “uncover” via “scientific” data, right?

Wrong… I have happened upon a new finding just but sitting a spell and thinking.

The new dietary craze – LEAD

Yes, lead!

You see, since the 1980s, the EPA has been cracking down on the levels of lead that is deemed “OK.” And since then, the number of obese people in the US has sky rocketed. And I have statistics:

According to the American Obesity Association, 14.4% of the population was considered to be obese during the period of 1976-1980. During that same period, 88.1% of children had elevated blood lead levels (Child Trends Databank).

Jump to the 1999-2000 period: 2.2% of children had elevated lead levels while the obesity level leaped to 30.5%.

Considering the fact that children grow up, it only follows that as the kids with low lead grew up to be people with high girth.

It’s all there, black and white, clear as crystal!

Disclaimer: lead is believed to cause neuromuscular disorders, so consult you physician before beginning a regimen of lead. Though, when you think about it, if you can’t bring your fork to your face, you won’t gain much weight.

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Written by

Ryan Livingston

Ryan Livingston

Artist / Writer / internet disk jockey / retail wage slave / carbon based lifeform. Founder of the New World Otter and RML Studios

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