More Crap Than Your Stick Can Shake At

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With the influx of bootlegs and the like, it comes at no surprise that the movie industry is now planning to reward DVD patrons with added doodads and goodies in addition to the tons of bonus features on the discs themselves.

However, as USA today reports, things go south real fast:

“The trend continues with a spiced-up version of the cult classic ‘Showgirls’ (due July 27) that comes with several party games, including “Pin-the-pasties-on-the-showgirl” – complete with pasties and a blindfold – and party favors such as ‘Showgirls’ shot glasses and playing cards.”

Of all the things to promote as the flagship – ‘SHOWGIRLS’!?

Zounds people! Are you trying to create another betamax debacle? Sure DVD’s are the biggest trend ever known to man with no clear end in sight; but ‘Showgirls’ can tear down anything! It has already claimed the careers of thousands of extras, sent Saturn out of orbit and begun the reversal of evolution… and that was the video release alone! Why add to the carnage by making Showgirls DVD memorabilia?! I ask you in the name of humanity… stop thine sinister plot!

‘Showgirls’ aside, this could be a great idea. Everyone loves free neat crap attached to other neat crap. But if ‘Showgirls’ is the shill, then does this mean only the turkeys will come with stuff? What’s next? ‘Gigli’ with a wad of $20s? I guess they gotta get rid of these things somehow.

Luckily though, had I read on, it’s not all turkeys slatted to get cool swag taped to:

“To help devotees of ‘Friends’ cope with the series finale May 6, Warner Home Video has released a ‘Friends’ Party Pack ($29.99, Target only), with the DVD The One With All the Parties, a music CD, a serving tray, recipes, coasters, Central Perk House Blend coffee and trivia cards.”

Still, ‘Friends’ is not much of a consoling force in my book.

Meanwhile, the music industry has taken a page movie industry by adding DVD’s to their CD’s. Too little too late I say. If they really want to endear themselves to the consumers, their gonna have to give away free coasters and crap too.

What’s that? The new Britney Spears album is a coaster. Oh… my bad.

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Ryan Livingston

Ryan is an artist / writer out of Melbourne, FL.

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