Near Manhattan Data Transfer

Dear Mr. Eccentric

I’m not the most tech savvy person these days. I used to be – I mean, I always had the latest digital calculating devices, just take a look at my pride and joy HP-35 (see attached photo). But lately I’ve been seeing ads on my Philco (that is till the vacuum tube blew) about this Windows 7 doohickey. Should I get this? [handwriting indecipherable]… I feel left out. I miss being on the cusp of technology and am ready and raring to join the 21st century!

Chuck Babbage
Old Town, Staten Island NY

Dear CB,

It shouldn’t make a difference whether or not you are on the cusp of the technological revolution. They got to the moon and back using what we now consider a wristwatch. Just imagine if they had access to and iPod. We’d be on Mars by now.

See, it’s not how powerful your gadget is, it’s how fast you can do long division with it.

That said, if you’re still convinced you need to upgrade, I think you should start out slow. Granted Windows 7 is rather user friendly; however, the concept of multitasking with ease may overload the brain of someone used to one equation at a time.

Might I recommend an earlier version PC? You really can’t buy older operating systems anymore, and eBay and most antiques dealers will rip you off (my throne made of C64s currently on hold due to budget constraints). The good news is, you have all you need in your palm.

Take your prized HP-35 and open up the case. Solder the display wires to a common house hold blender. Then, take the battery leads and put them into a bottle of 5hr energy.

Voila, you’ve now got a PC with all the functionality of Windows ME.

Happy Computing
Mr. E.