Technically Sneaking…

Love (and all it’s sub species) is a many splintered thing. And, no matter where it happens or who is involved, it’s weird. This is especially true when it’s reported on, and especially-especially true when there’s money to be had.

Can Turn on a Dime

It has been reported that the working girl community of Basel, Switzerland, has a new trick up its sleeve. Not that type of trick! The world’s oldest profession has finally joined the 19th century – by utilizing roller skates.

Quoth one the now upwardly mobile whores: “You can get away from police more quickly, and if you want to rob one of your tricks, you’re off in a flash.” At least someone in the world still has pride in their craft.

Who knew the women of the night had their own Research and Development team. I can see it now; there’s like some prostitute version of Q out there haranguing the other women about bringing back their high tech toys back in one piece. “Damnit agent 0069, this is serious!”

So, what’s next? Pimps on mopeds? How about skydiving crack dealers? And speaking of crack:

Dial-a-Dodge

According to the NY Post this week (no I didn’t buy it, I picked it out of the trash!), technology has made a great leap in the field of geek isolation.

Cingular Wireless has included in one of its packages the “escape-a-date” function. You can have the phone call you at a pre set time, then use that call as an out if the date is bad. Pretend a roommate is locked out; the hamster died; grandma was abducted by the Burmese Freedom fighters; anything from having to interact in real time with a real live person. (heaven forbid)

Now, if you have enough rotten dates to warrant $4.99 per month for this convenience… I’d say it’s time to enter the priesthood. It’s over; you’ve lost. ‘Cause, it’s not the people you’ve been dating.

Incidentally, many cell phones also come with a GPS function. This helps locate the phone after that last-ditch, speedy “escort” you hired swipes it.

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Written by

Ryan Livingston

Ryan Livingston

Artist / Writer / internet disk jockey / retail wage slave / carbon based lifeform. Founder of the New World Otter and RML Studios

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